A Drabble a Day Discussions of life
by jkkitty1
Summary: The two men discuss activities in their lives. A Drabble a Day keeps the Thrushies Away
1. Napoleon's women

Napoleon's Women

_Chop_

"Proklyatie, How could you Napoleon? You and your women!"

"But"

_Chop_

"You agreed to this job without even finding out what it was."

"But"

"All she had to do was bat her eyes at you."

"But"

_Chop_

"No more buts, I am bleeding because of you."

"But you're the knife expert Illya."

"Grrrrrr"

"Are those potatoes peeled yet? Jo* and I are ready to start supper." Aunt Amy interrupted.

"Yes, Ma'am," the two men answered together.

"And this is your entirely fault Napoleon-your inability to say no to women," Illya accused as he bandaged his third finger.

*Author Note: In the AU Jo is Illya's sister and Napoleon's lover.


	2. Sea above

Above the Sea

"Sailing in a boat is extreme happiness." Napoleon said smiling.

"_Cruising in a boat is absolutely unnecessary." Illya replied frowning._

"To be surrounded by everything so blue."

_"I am green."_

"To feel the gently rolling waves."

_"My stomach is violently rolling."_

"To be able to catch your dinner and eat it in the sea air."

_"My lunch would come back up."_

"To feel the wind freely blowing your hair."

_"My head is spinning, and I feel dizzy."_

"To feel the sun warming my face."

_"My body is sweating."_

"I love sailing upon the water."

_"I hate sailing on the water but I do it because it is important to you my friend."_


	3. Sea below

Below the Sea

Ready to scuba dive to reach the entrance of a Thrush stronghold, Illya and Napoleon discuss the dive.  
>"I feel so at peace," Illya proclaimed<p>

_"I experience intense panic," Napoleon countered._

"I have a desire to go deeper and deeper."

_"I have overwhelming need to get out of the water."_

"I love the quiet."

_"I feel alarm at the sound of air escaping."_

"I enjoy the freedom of the water."

_"I dread the crushing of the water, but I will do it to support you my friend."_


	4. Spy 2 comes after Spy 1

Spies 2 (come immediate after Spy)

"Mr. Kuryakin, it's your turn now. Hopefully, you will be more cooperative than Mr. Solo."

"Enemy"

"_Hardboiled"_

"Floater"

"_Hot Chocolate with marshmallows."_

"Drugs"

"_Unpalatable"_

Fighting

"_Overpowering flavor"_

"Torture"

"_Whipped"_

"Woman"

"_Delicious" _

Classified

"_Ingredients"_

"Mr. Kuryakin many of your responses make no sense either."

_"You're incorrect doctor; they make perfect sense if you understand my partner's stomach_." Napoleon commented.

"Mr. Kuryakin, really. I thought you were the sensible one in the partnership."

As the two men walked away, Napoleon said, _"Well, tovarisch I suppose he'll be contacting Waverly."_

Illya grinned, "No doubt my friend, no doubt."


	5. Thoughts on Heat

Thoughts on Heat

The two agents stepped off the plane into stifling Egyptian air.

"I have a fondness the hot places," Napoleon declared.

_"I have an aversion to the heat_," Illya grumbled.

"I always get a great tan."

"_I burn_."

"I don't have to wear a suit and tie," said the smiling CEA

"_I wind up wearing the native garb_," complained his frowning partner.

"The stimulating crowds."

"_I like solitude_."

"So many exotic beauties to choose from."

_"Umm. Like that makes a difference_!"

"Illya?"

"_Napoleon, no matter what the climate, you always find a woman_," Illya declared heading toward headquarters.


	6. Thoughts on Cold

Thoughts on Cold

The next morning the two agents stepped off the plane into the freezing Alaskan air.

"I find the cold air invigorating," Illya announced.

_"I have a dislike for places that are freezing," Napoleon grumbled._

"A turtleneck under a warm coat is commonplace," smiled his partner.

_"We have to wear so many clothes that you can't see the true person," frowned the CEA._

"Acreas of empty land."

_"So few women."_

"Everyone can have their own private space."

_"Haaaa!"_

"Napoleon?"

"_I'm sure the women will need someone to snuggle with_," Napoleon said moving quickly toward the compound.


	7. Reading

Reading

The two agents lay on their separate beds each holding an open magazine.

"How can you read that stuff?" Napoleon asked pointing to his partner's copy of Quantum Mechanics Today.

"_I could ask you the same thing," _Illya said indicating his Playboy Magazine.

"Mine has interesting articles in it."

"_It has pictures of models in various stages of undress."_

"The models in your magazine are also in various stages of being stripped."

"_Napoleon, they are pictures of disassembled motors."_

"But my pictures are more entertaining."

"_I give up Napoleon; I will admit your pictures are more agreeably diverting."_


	8. Illya's Car

Story pulled until 4/14. To enjoy it, please see Kuryakin Files 32.


	9. Napoleon's Car

Story pulled until 4/14. To enjoy it, please see Kuryakin Files 32.


	10. Medical Illya

Medical Illya

"Well how are you feeling, Mr. Kuryakin?"

"_Fine."_

"Do you have any pain in that broken leg?"

"_I am fine."_

"Do you need anything?"

"_I am fine and need nothing."_

"But there must be something I can do for you?"

"_Leave me alone, I am fine."_

After the nurse left Napoleon said, "Come on Illya, how are you really feeling?"

"_How do you think I feel after someone threw a bomb where I was standing, missing the target by a mile?"_

"Sorry, the bullet that hit my arm threw off my aim. How are you truly?"

"_I am fine."_


	11. Medical Napoleon

Medical Napoleon

"How are you feeling Mr. Solo?"

"_Your shining face makes me feel fine."_

"Is that bullet wound in your arm painful?"

"_Not as painful as not being able to hold you, my dear."_

"Do you need anything?"

"_How about a sponge bath?"_

After the nurse left, Illya said to his partner, "Can't you ever be serious?"

"_I was being serious. UNCLE's Wonderful nurses always make me feel better."_

"How do you really feel?"

"_Well except for the fact my partner accidently shot me, fine."_

"I am sorry. The crumbling rocks behind me caused my feet to slip. How are you really?"

"_Nothing a loving nurse can't make better."_


	12. Clothes Napoleon

Clothes Napoleon

"Another new suit, Napoleon?"

"_Saw it yesterday on sale, and it's a Sherman's."_

"You do realize we are going into an old warehouse for the meet?"

"_Doesn't mean I can't be well dressed. After all I'm supposed to set an example for my men."_

"There is sure to be lots of dirt, grime, and broken things lying about."

"_And?"_

"There is a very good likelihood that your suit could get ruined."

"_Why are you always such a pessimist?"_

"I have seen your suits after meets before. Besides there is always justifying your expense account."

"_Ah, can you wait a second while I change."_


	13. Clothes Illya

Clothes Illya

"Not that black turtleneck again, Illya."

"_It is comfortable and flexible."_

"You do know we are going to a nightclub."

"_You didn't mention that we needed to dress up."_

"But I did tell you where we were going."

"_True but I see nothing wrong with this shirt."_

"I know you use that outfit as a way to avoid people seeing the real you."

""_Why are you always such an optimist?"_

"Think of all the women that will be there today, just looking for a good looking man to meet."

"_Ah, can you wait a minute while I change."_


	14. Apartment Illya

Illya:

"Not to complain, but this couch is old and lumpy." Napoleon said.

"_You have mentioned that before," _Illya replied.

After looking around Napoleon commented, "I'm afraid to walk through here with the piles of books and magazines. How can you find anything?"

"_I have a system."_

Flipping through Illya's record albums: "You only have Jazz."

"_I enjoy it."_

"No TV set."

"_I am not interested."_

After his partner had left, Illya looked over his old and sparely furnished apartment. He wasn't sure Napoleon would understand that as an orphan he had been without a home. This was a home, his home.


	15. Apartment Napoleon

Napoleon's

"This couch is comfortable to sleep on." Illya said as he leaned back.

"_And you've done it frequently," Napoleon replied._

Looking around Illya commented, "You have many things but you are never home to enjoy them."

"_I like nice things."_

Glancing through Napoleon's record albums: "There is no rhythm or reason to your collection."

"_I like variety."_

"_How about a cup of espresso from my Olympia Cremina"_

"Capitalistic enjoyment."

After his partner left, Napoleon looked over his richly furnished apartment. He wasn't sure Illya would ever understand that as a diplomats grandson he didn't have a true home. Now this was home, his home.


	16. Explosives Illya

"Do we really need that much explosives?" Napoleon questioned

_"We want to destroy their whole laboratory."_

Illya's smile went from ear to ear as the detonation rocked the area around them.

"Did you use enough explosives?" Napoleon complained as they climbed out from under the rocks that had rained down on them.

_"We needed to make sure there was nothing left."_

"I believe the assignment was the building not the whole mountain."

_"The building is gone, is it not?"_

"But.."

_"There is no way they can use it again, so we are successful."_

_"Anything else to destroy, I am in the mood_." Illya said with a grin.


	17. Explosives Napoleon

Napoleon:

"Do you feel that really is enough explosives?" Illya questioned.

_"I am setting up this demolition." Napoleon defended his choice._

They watched as the blast leveled all except one wall.

"I told you that you needed more explosives." Illya said as they headed towards the site.

_"It took out almost everything."_

"I believe the assignment was to take out the whole building."

_"The site is useless isn't it?"_

As they reached the remaining structure, it collapsed on them. Climbing out from under the ruble, Napoleon brushing himself off.

"_Well there's a few problems that can't be solved with the use of explosives_." Napoleon said with a silly grin.


	18. Illya's Hair

Illya's Hair

Napoleon looked at his partner who was in the middle of pushing his Beatle style haircut out of his face. The ruffled strands kept falling into his eyes.

"You need a haircut."

_"I like this length."_

"It's longer than regulation."

_"Waverly has not said anything_," he said finger-combing it into order.

"It's hardly gives the impression that you're an UNCLE agent."

"_Great cover though_."

"It needs a trim."

"_I do not need a trim_."

"Do you realize Mr. Waverly is due back from Paris today?"

_"In that case, do you mind stopping at the barber on the way to headquarters?"_

"I thought you'd see it my way."


	19. Napoleon's Hair

Napoleon Hair

Picking up his partner outside the barbershop, Illya shook his head.

_"What?"_

"Why were you in there?"

_"It was time for a trim."_

"Trim, Napoleon your hair does not grow that fast in a week."

_"My hair needs to be under control, not like someone else's."_

"We are not discussing my hair. That style makes you look like an executive."

_"Thank you."_

"Except for that small lock that keeps falling on your forehead."

Napoleon frowned as he pushed the strand back in place.

Minutes later, it fell again.

"What's the matter?" Illya said smiling.

_"Just hand me the Brylcreem, will you?"_ Napoleon growled.


	20. Americana

Americana

Illya opened the door to see Napoleon dressed in a polo shirt and slacks.

"_I have plans for us today_." He said as he walked in.

"I plan to read and relax."

"_Not on such a beautiful day, I'm going to introduce you to a piece of Americana."_

"What exactly?"

"_An amusement park."_

"And what is that?

"_It is like a big fair. Games of skills, chance, rides, and many attractions._

"Thank you, but I will stay home."

"_Come on Illya, you'll enjoy it."_

"I think not."

"_Did I mention they have all kinds of food?"_

"Maybe, I will give it a try."


	21. Americana 2

"Illya I have never been so embarrassed in my life."

"_I can think of times you were more embarrassed."_

"That really isn't the point."

"_But I do not understand why everyone was so upset."_

"Really?"

"_I drove like I always do. I saw no speed limits."_

"But everyone you passed, you caused to crash into the wall."

"_Was not the purpose to see who got to the finish line first."_

"Yes it was."

"_And I was the first person, I would think you would be proud of me."_

"Of course""

"_Then what is the problem."_

"Your driving got us banned from the go cart track."


	22. Americana 3

"Now what is the problem?"

_"Illya, you did it again."_

"Did what?"

_"Embarassed me."_

"Explain to me why that man was so upset."

_"What were your last couple scores on the shooting range?"_

"100s"

_"Don't you think it was a little unfair that you were playing that game."_

"I thought you said that we were to have fun."

_"Yes."_

"So, I enjoy shooting."

_"You won five of the big prizes in a row, most people can't win one."_

"The sight was wrong , so I adjusted it."

_"Well giving the prizes to children in line upset him. He lost business."_

Illya grinned, "Next time maybe he will not rig the sights."


	23. Americana 4

"Well Napoleon now we are even, you have embarrassed me."

"_What did I do?"_

"You managed to get us banned from the rope course."

"_I was helping the lady to ensure she didn't fall. "_

"She did have a safety rope."

"_But I could see she needed some encouragement."_

"I believe that is the job of the man in the orange vest."

"_She had stopped so I was concerned."_

"She was waiting for the person in front of her to reach the end."

"_But it was the gentlemanly thing to do."_

"You and women!" Illya sighed heading toward the food concession.


	24. Americana 5

Illya looked down the line of food booths.

_"We can pick anything we wish?"_

"Anything and as much as you would like," Napoleon agreed.

Illya began walking down the path between the booths trying to decide.

"Do me a favor and pick me up a chili hot dog will you? I have to use the boys' room," Napoleon said as he headed that way.

Returning Napoleon joined his partner at the table. Staring at Illya's food, he shook his head.

_"What?"_

"Do you have enough to eat?"

_"I couldn't decide. So I took one of everything."_

Napoleon grinned as he watched his partner clean off his plate.


	25. Americana 6

Illya wiped off his sticky hands, "What is this called again?" He said holding up a small piece of blue fluff.

"_Cotton candy."_

Illya examined it more closely, "I wonder how it is made."

"_They melt sugar, then spin the liquid until it cools causing thin threads of sugar which are wrapped around a paper stick."_

"This information you know, Napoleon."

"_Well you did ask."_

"So it really has no nutritional value."

"_True."_

"But so many people are eating it."

"_They enjoy it."_

"It seems a useless food."

Napoleon grinned at his partner.

"_Tovarisch, your observation would be more accurate, if that wasn't your fifth one."_


	26. Americana 7

Back at Illya's apartment, "Well tovarisch what did you think of the amusement park?"

"It was confusing."

"Confusing? Didn't you have fun?"

"Well, the games are rigged so that you cannot win the big prizes. But people play knowing this. The go-carts are for entertainment not for showing one's skill. The food is non-nutritional, but everyone seems to enjoy it. There are so many contradictions."

"Was there anything that you liked?"

Yawning he laid back on his couch, "Although very American, I enjoyed it all. Thank you my friend."

With that he fell asleep with a smile on his face, holding the Russian bear he had won.


	27. Relaxing

The partners entered Illya's apartment after a difficult assignment.

"I cannot wait to relax," he said as he handed his partner a drink.

"Me either, thanks."

"Sleeping, music and reading."

"You call that relaxing."

"Music helps me wind down, reading allows me to escape reality, and sleeping lets my body rest. What is your idea of relaxing as if I need to ask?"

"Women, wine and dancing."

"How do you justify that as relaxing?"

"Wine makes me forget my trouble, dancing sets the mood, and women-well I think you can guess what that does."

"To relaxation," they said clinking their glasses.


	28. Question 1

Question 1

"Illya can I ask you a question?" Napoleons said as he bent over his partner.

"_Waverly is waiting for our report."_

"Ahem, cough."

"_Alright Napoleon what is the question?_

"Why do you do this?"

"_By this, do you mean write both our reports, fight Thrush, get shot at, drugged and tortured? Which one?"_

"All the above."

"_My government ordered me to."_

"But UNCLE would help you gain your freedom from them."

"_And then what would I do?"_

"Choose whatever you would like to do. What would it be?

The telephone rang, interrupting his answer.

"_Later, Waverly needs us."_


	29. Question 2

Question 2

Walking back from the meeting Illya spoke_, "Napoleon may I ask you a question?"_

"I'm an open book, go ahead."

"_X rated at times."_

"You did have a question, didn't you?"

"_Why do you do it?"_

"Oh we're back to my question. I could say any number of reasons, freedom, protecting the world, adventure, or even women."

_"I knew that would be in there someplace. But if you had to give one reason what would it be." _

Alarm bells shattered the grey hallways of UNCLE, sending the two agents on their way to help with the emergency: the question still left unanswered.


	30. Question 3

Question 3

They were shot, bleeding and in pain as they helped each other to safety by a wall. They  
>sat back to back, armed, ready and watching.<p>

"We never finished our discussion Illya."

"_This is not the time Napoleon."_

"If not now then when?"

"_Alright, I do this because I believe the world is worth saving."_

"Is it worth dying for?

_"Yes."_

"Are those the only reasons?"

"_No my friend, I do this to bring you back alive and you?_

"My sentiments exactly, partner. Shall we go before they find us?"

_"Yes, that sounds like a good idea Napoleon." _


	31. Bowling 1

Bowling 1

Illya stopped at the top of the lane, looking it over carefully.

"What are you doing?" Napoleon asked.

"_I am calculating the likelihood of knocking down all the pins from the different reference point on the floor."_

"This is supposed to be a game of fun and skill, not a scientific experiment." Napoleon grumbled.

Next Illya lifted a number of balls.

"Now what are you doing?"

"_I am determining the force needed with the weight of each ball to get a strike."_

Selecting his ball, he threw it down the lane leaving the 6-10 split.

Napoleon smirked, "Seems your computations are off."


	32. Bowling 2

Bowling 2

Napoleon looked around. A few women were glancing his way. Picking up a ball, he walked to his starting point, shook his backside a little then released the ball getting a strike.

"_What was that may I ask_?" Illya questioned.

"It's my luck shake."

"_It seems more like a peacock showing off for his peahen."_

On his next turn, Napoleon once more gave his shake and threw another strike.

"_There is no scientific proof that shaking your behind helps improve bowling skills."_

"You get a strike your way, I'll get one my way." SmilIng at the gathered women.


	33. Bpwling 3

Bowling 3

"I thought you went for drinks, Where is your scotch and my vodka?"

"_This is bowling Illya. You drink beer while bowling."_

"Is that a written law?"

"_No, but it's standard bowling faire."_

"What else is there I should know about bowling?"

"_It's great for hanging out with friends, enjoying a few laughs, and getting a little exercise."_

"And to attract women, I see. Is there anything else I need to know? Are these rules written down anywhere?

"_Not written, tradition. Well besides the beer, you have to eat oodles of pizza and pretzels"_

"This game is getting more interesting by the minute."


	34. Bowling 4

Bowling 4

"Why are those people all dressed alike?"

"_They belong to a team that bowls weekly in a league."_

"Why are there pads in those gutters?"

"_Bumper bowling. So children have a better chance of knocking down pins."_

"Why are the lights going down and turning blue? Napoleon the lanes, pins, bowling balls are lit up and now music and a light show."

"_It's called midnight bowling, it makes it more fun. Any more questions or can we continue now?"_

"Why do Americans make everything so difficult?"

"_Illya, just throw the ball! Trying to distract me will not help your score." _


	35. Bowling 5

Bowling 5

"So strike does not mean to hit someone?"

"_No, just knocking down all the pins."_

"And split, is not something broke in half?"

"_That's right, it's leaving two pins standing that are separated."_

"We do not eat a turkey?"

"_The pins won't taste very good."_

"A fence post is not made of wood?"

"_Just leaving the 7-10 pins standing."_

"A miss is not a woman?"

"_If only it were."_

"And in the Beer Frame, the loser buys the others a drink?"

"_Yes. Which you do owe me."_

"And you wonder why I do not understand your language."


	36. Bowling 6

Bowling 6

"Napoleon, it is your turn, are you coming?"

"_Be there in a minute."_

"Mmmm. Mmmm" Illya impatiently waited for his partner to return.

Napoleon came over by him smiling while placing a piece of paper in his pocket.

"I assume you will be busy later tonight?"

"_Of course not, I've got plans with you tonight. This is for tomorrow."_

"May I ask what you were doing over there?"

"_We were giving each other some pointers."_

"Her score was over two hundred before your went over."

"_I know," Napoleon said lifting his ball smiling. "And she'll be giving me pointers tomorrow."_


	37. Bowling 7

Bowling 7

Relaxing with a scotch and vodka, Napoleon and Illya discussed the game.

"So, tovarisch I can't believe you never bowled before."

"_My government sent me here to learn not to play."_

"What do you think of the game?"

"_Once more I am confused by your American culture."_

"What's the problem this time?"

"_You have a game with language that does not mean what it usually does. You adjust the lanes so the children cannot lose, then you turn off lights add loud music and weird lighting to make it more interesting?"_

"Clam up and drink you vodka."


	38. PainIllya

He walked with his partner down the corridor toward medical. Illya limped with each step and grimaced with pain.

"Still bad?"

"_I am fine," he shot back._

As they reached the door, Illya straightened himself, walking in with no sign  
>of a limp or of pain.<p>

Through the whole examination, his face never changed.

"I can certify you for full duty."

Illya nodded and walked out the door with his partner following.

Once away from medical, the limp returned and the look of pain reappeared.

"I believe you could win the best actor award."

_Illya just grinned. "Lights, cameras, action."_


	39. Baseball 1

Baseball 1

Illya opened the door to find his partner dressed in a Yankees tee shirt and jeans.

"Well, are you ready to go?" Napoleon asked.

"_I see you are taking this seriously. No suit?"_

"For a baseball game? I am wearing the typical uniform for spectators."

"_Where is your special?"_

"Ankle gun."

"_And your explosives?"_

"In the heel of my shoes."

"_Communicator?"_

"Really Illya, we are going to a game not a Thrush outpost."

"_You can never be sure."_

"Come on tovarisch, you're taking all the fun out of this."

Illya grinned as they left; he did love teasing his partner.


	40. Baseball 2

Baseball 2

As they reached the car, Napoleon threw a bag at his partner.

"You'll need that."

Illya pulled a Yankees hat out of the bag.

"_What am I to do with this?"_

"Wear it, of course."

"_Why would I want to wear this hat?"_

"It shows support for your team."

"_Where is yours?"_

Napoleon pulled his from the bag, placing it on his head.

"_You will mess up your hair."_

"This is a baseball game, we're supposed to be causal."

"_So you are dressed in a tee-shirt and wearing a hat with a big Y on it."_

""It's traditional."


	41. Baseball 3

Baseball 3

"_Why are we here so early? The game does not start for 3 hours."_

Napoleon pulled out a few lawn chairs, and a grill.

"We're going to tailgate."

"_Tailgate? Is that not someone driving to close to you?"_

"Yes it is, but it is also a celebration of the game in the parking lot."

"_What exactly is this tailgating?"_

"Tailgating includes drinking alcohol and grilling food before the game."

"_So all these people are tailgating?"_

"Yes, start the fire, won't you?"

"_Does this stadium not sell food?" _

"Yes, they do."

"_So why do we cook our own?"_

"It's tradition."


	42. Baseball 4

Baseball 4

"_So what is this game all about?" Illya asked as they took their seat._

"It's the national pastime. A team of nine players try to score runs by hitting a ball and running around the bases while the other team tries to catch the ball and tag them out before they make it around them."

"_Let me understand. Grown men hit balls, run around a diamond, and try not to get touched."_

"You got it."

"_They get paid for this?"_

"Of course"

"_This is considered a pastime?"_

"Yes"

"_Why do people pay to see them do this?"_

"Tradition."


	43. Baseball 5

Baseball 5

"_Napoleon, what is a triple play?"_ Illya asked as he watch the Yankees pull off a miracle that now put them ahead. When he didn't get an answer he looked up from the field, to see his partner talking to the cute lady sitting on the other side of him.

"Hummm, oh sorry partner, what was what?"

"_I see you have found something else to hold your attention."_

"She was asking me to explain the score card. I can't say no to a lovely lady."

"_You cannot say no to any lady."_

"Well…."

"_With you, that is traditional."_


	44. Baseball 6

Baseball 5

It was the seventh inning and everyone was singing Take Me Out to the Ball Game, including Napoleon.

After he sat down, Illya said,_ "They have a song for the seven inning?"_

"Yes, it to cheer the home team on."

"_But your team is losing."_

"They still have time to win."

"_And this song is sung to help them win?" he said doubtfully._

"It's the seventh inning stretch and shows support for our team."

"_I do not know, it seems like a strange American custom."_

"Really, Illya! You can be impossible." Napoleon sighed.

"_I know, it is tradition." _


	45. Baseball 7

Baseball 7

"I see you found something that you can enjoy about the baseball game," Napoleon said as he looked over at his partner.

On Illya's lap was a box of popcorn, bag of peanuts, three empty brat sleeves, a container with French fries, and a cup of beer.

"Do you have enough to eat?"

"_I do find one thing about your sports interesting. They all seem to have specific foods that go with them." Illya said putting another fry in his mouth._

"And I see you found the food associated with baseball."

"_Like you keep saying Napoleon. It is tradition._


	46. Baseball 8

Baseball 7

On the way home, Illya was looking over the player's stats in the game book. He asked Napoleon about a few of them and was surprised when his partner began to rattle off one after another.

"_Let me get this straight. You know all the stats for each player?"_

"Of course, that's how you follow players."

Illya shook his head.

"Now what do you find so unbelievable?"

"_Napoleon, you cannot remember half the miscellaneous information we receive doing a briefing, but you recite baseball stats like your life depends on it."_

"It's tradition." the two men said together.


	47. St Pat's Day

Illya walked into their office shaking his head.

"What's a matter tovarisch?"

"_Can you explain to me why everyone is wearing green today?"_

"It's St. Patrick's day."

"_Pardon?"_

"On St. Patrick's day, people wear green in honor of the Irish."

Illya then noticed his partner had a green tie on.

"_You are not Irish."_

"Everyone is Irish on St. Patty's day."

Illya absorbed the information without saying another word.

It wasn't until lunch and they delivered his drink that he next spoke about the day, "_This is going too far-green beer."_

Napoleon grinned offering a toast, "To St. Patty's day."


	48. Horror Movies

Illya found his partner in front of the TV, "Horror movies, Napoleon?"

"I enjoy them. They take my mind off our daily life."

Illya sat down and watched for a while.

"This takes your mind off things. So far the bad guy drugged his captive after chaining them to the wall."

"And your point is?"

"This does not sound familiar to you."

"No."

"What happened the last time we were on assignment?"

"Thrush caught us, chained us to the wall, and pumped us full of drugs. OH! I think there's a baseball game on," Napoleon said turning the channel.


	49. Evaluation 1

"So partner, how are the agents' evaluations going?"

Grrrrr

"I take that to mean not good."

"Everyone is complaining, either their assignments are too involved or too dull. They either have too much downtime between assignments or not enough. Their partners are too controlling or don't take their share of responsibility. Finally, they either feel I'm not available enough or looking over their shoulders too much."

"I see.

"Which reminds me? What are you doing here Illya?"

"If you look at your schedule, you will see I am your next evaluation. And I have some suggestions to make."

"Give me strength!"


	50. Evaluation 2

"I thought you were finished with the evaluations."

"_I am."_

"Then why are there papers all over now."

"_I have to reassign some partners."_

"I do not envy you that task."

"_No matter what I do someone won't be happy. If it doesn't work out, it will be my fault."_

"That is one of the joys of being the CEA."

"_Oh partner," Napoleon said expectantly._

"Nyet."

"_But partners share responsibilities."_

"Nyet."

"_I'll do the next two assignment reports."_

"Nyet."

"_I'll take you to supper at the restaurant of your choice."_

"With dessert?"

"_Of course."_

"Let me look at your list."


	51. Evaluation 3

"Now what," Illya said looking at another pile of papers on Napoleon desk.

"_I have to justify the expenditures for Section 2."_

"I think I will go to my lab."

"_Stop there, partner. Five cars and a helicopter in the past month?"_

"Thrush made me crash them."

"_Top medical bills in the section?"_

"They like shooting at me."

"_Ten cases of dynamite."_

"We needed to make sure the sites were destroyed."

"_You're on the top of every list, except one."_

"Who has the top clothing allowance?"

"_I think you should go back to your lab."_

Illya left smiling, "Yes Napoleon."


	52. Evaluation 4

"Well Mr. Solo, I'm pleasantly surprised. You not only managed to finish up all these reports but you also did them on time." Waverly glanced though the files Napoleon had placed on his desk.

"_Thank you, sir."_

"I suppose Mr. Kuryakin helped you with these?"

"_Just as you're preparing me to take over for you sir, I'm preparing him to take over for me."_

"Hmmm I see. Well I'll go over these and let you know if I need anything else. Only one thing, Mr. Solo."

"_Sir?"_

"These need to be done in triplicate, by tomorrow if you please."

_sighhhhhhhh_


	53. Evaluation 5

"To finished paperwork," Napoleon offered a toast to his partner as they sat in his apartment.

Illya grinned, downing his vodka.

"What do you find so entertaining?"

"_You do know that when you take over for Waverly there will be a great deal more of paperwork?"_

"I do."

"_You are taking this very calmly for a man who hates paperwork."_

"You're my partner aren't you?"

"_Da."_

"You always have my back?"

"_Da."_

"Well, I see it this way. If you take the CEA position when I move to Section 1, you'll still be covering my back no matter what."

_Sigh._


	54. Prisoner a triple drabble

"Napoleon?"

"Yes April."

"Do you think our partners are there?" she asked hoping they were wrong. The place was dark and uninviting."

"That's the kind of place Illya always seems to wind up in, it matches his pessimistic personality."

"How can you say that about your partner? You seem so uncaring at times by making light of the situation."

"It not that I don't care, but if I don't make light of the circumstances, I may become too worried to help him."

"You really do care don't you."

"Let's go save them before they get into more trouble," he said.

…..

"Illya?"

"Yes Mark."

"Do you think our partners will find us? I mean this place isn't on any known trail."

Illya smiled at the younger agent. "They will find us."

"How can you be so sure? Even we don't know where we are gov."

"Napoleon will not miss a chance to gloat over rescuing us."

"I don't understand you two. You seem to be best friends, and I know you're the best team UNCLE has but you're always trying to outdo one another."

"It is not trying to top one another, we just are partners." That said it all.

"Oh?"

….

April and Napoleon burst through the door after darting the guards.

"Would you two like to be let down?" Napoleon asked with a smile on his face as they walked toward the bound men.

"No," Illya responded sarcastically. "We thought we would just hang around for a while. Besides, you're late as always."

"We'd have been here on time, if you'd left a clearer trail to follow."

"Next time I will ask Thrush to be more considerate of you."

The two continued to banter while everyone was cut free.

Mark and April smiled at the two, yes they were partners.


	55. Grocery Store

Walking though the grocery store, Napoleon watched his partner load the cart with multiple bottles and cans.

"You do know that this store is open twenty-four hours a day, don't you?"

"Yes."

"Then why do you need to buy so many similar items?"

"They are on sale and in large supplies."

"But 5 strawberry jams?"

"I like to be prepared."

Napoleon thought about what he knew of his partner. His partner had fought for every scrap of food he had eaten as a child.

"Did you see they have family sizes?" Napoleon asked adding a large can, finally understanding.


	56. Vigil Napoleon

He sat vigil over his friend.

The bruised face was highlighted by his golden hair, but showed the lack of food he missed in the past week.

The bandaged arms, back and legs made him look much bigger than he was.

His slight movement caused a groan to escape his lips, which he would have stopped if he was aware.

He moved closer to the bed as he noticed him trying to open his eyes.

When they opened, he saw worry for a moment until they spotted him.

"_Napoleon?"_

"I'm here partner."

"_Then I am safe_." Reclosing his eyes.


	57. Vigil Illya

One more vigil, but he is on the waiting side this time.

Not beaten this time, but pumped full of drugs.

Nightmares were plaguing his sleep.

A gentle hand on his shoulder to calm him, pushing his brown hair off his forehead.

Soft words of comfort and caring shared that only he can hear.

He sat as close to the bed as he could.

Gradually the movements calmed down, and his brown eyes slowly opened.

When they opened, he saw concern for an instant until they spotted him.

"_Illya?"_

"I am here partner."

"_Then I can rest safely, no more nightmares."_


	58. BelongingsIllya

Napoleon saw the scowl on his partners face.

"_What's the matter?"_

"I am paying bills. I do not know why I just do not live in agents' quarters. I am never home."

Napoleon looked around. There were piles of books in over stacked bookcases, Jazz albums in a corner next to Illya's prized record player.

Illya pulled a bottle of Scotch and glasses from a shelf and vodka from the freezer.

"_Where else would you store all this?"_

Illya smiled at the things that were really his for the first time in his life. "Guess I will keep the apartment."


	59. The Puppy 1

Illya closed Napoleon's door and was greeted by a small puppy jumping up on him.

"What is that!"

"My neighbor asked if I could watch her tonight."

"It looks like a drowned rat."

"I was giving her a bath."

"She does not bite does she?"

"No, she's very lovable, and enjoys cuddling."

Illya sat down and the puppy jumped up on his lap and licked his face.

He placed her on the floor, but as soon as he sat back down, she jumped up again.

"Seems like you have a new friend." Napoleon laughed and received an icy glare.

"Grrrr"


	60. The puppy 2

"_Watch her for a few minutes. I have to run out and get her some food."_

"I will get it for you."

"_That's okay. I need a few other things. Come on, it'll only be thirty minutes at most."_

"Can you not leave her alone?"

"_She's not used to being alone. "_

"Napoleon, you know I do not care for dogs."

"_She's a puppy."_

"Dog, puppy, they are the same."

The puppy again jumped onto Illya's lap, looking at him with sad eyes.

"Down," Illya insisted.

The puppy continued to look at him pleadingly.

"Alright but just until Napoleon returns."


	61. The Puppy 3

Illya lay down on the couch with the puppy snuggling close to him. He moved her to the bottom of the couch, but soon the puppy was climbing up again.

"Stay down there," he said placing her back at his feet.

The puppy whimpered and cried.

"It is no use. I will not give in."

The verbal exchange continued for a while until Illya gave in, allowing her to lie next to him.

Napoleon returned to the apartment to find the puppy curled up in his partner's arms, both asleep.

He smiled; the little lady had won Illya's heart.


	62. Television part 1

"Hi partner how you doing today?"

"Shhhh, I am watching this." Illya insisted.

Napoleon glanced at the television program for a few minutes, "And exactly what do you have on?"

"Theresa is having Scottie's baby, but he is married to Tracy who tricked him into it. Then Vicky is having a nervous breakdown but Joe is trying to prevent the board of directors from finding out."

"I suggested you look at some TV to pass the time in medical, but soap operas Illya?"

"Will you please be quiet? I want to find out what Barnabas Collins is up to now."


	63. Television part 2

Returning to medical that evening, Napoleon dropped a few books on his partner's bed.

"Here thought you might like these."

"Just put them on the end table will you?"

"Aren't you interested in what they are?"

"I will look them over later. Right now I am concentrating on this program."

Noticing the television was on again, he watched it. "Illya that's a game show."

"It is Password."

"But this?"

"It helps me develop my vocabulary. Then Jeopardy is on after this."

"And what does that teach you?"

"History."

"My friend I think you're taking this too far."

"Shh, I am thinking."


	64. Television part 3

"No television tonight, Tovarisch?"

"_Only reruns on at this time. As long as you are here could you help me to the bathroom?"_

Napoleon deposited his partner by the toilet and giving him privacy, waited turning channels. He stopped suddenly sitting down to watch a program.

"_Napoleon, Napoleon! I need your help to get back to bed."_

"Sorry, didn't hear you calling."

"_What is so interesting that it has your attention?"_

"Nothing," Standing up quickly he turned the set off.

Passing the television, Illya turned in back on.

"_Oh Napoleon, why am I not surprised?"_

"But it's Honey West." 


	65. Expenses 1:3

"Mr. Solo is this an expense account or a statement of the national debt?"

Napoleon shifted in his seat, "Well sir. When Thrush threw me into the barrel of tar, , they also threw in my suitcase ruining everything," he said.

"We are not made of money you know. Why can't you buy your suits where Mr. Kuryakin does?"

Glancing at Illya who was smirking, "But sir, his are off the rack!"

"I'll help you find something if you like, Napoleon." Illya offered innocently.

"Thank you Mr. Kuryakin."

"Thank you partner. I don't need help," Napoleon said biting off each word.


	66. Expenses 2:3

"Mr. Kuryakin, perhaps you care to explain what has happened to the last three cars assigned to you."

"Thrush threw a bomb into the first one and ran us off the road in the second." It was now Illya's turn to shift in his seat. From the corner of his eye, he saw Napoleon smirking.

"Yes Illya, tell Mr. Waverly what happen to the last one."

"Something was in the middle of the road, trying to avoid it, I hit a hay wagon tipping the car into the river."

"I believe it was a squirrel." Napoleon offered.

"What!" Waverly demanded.


	67. Expenses 3:3

Illya sighed at the burning car as he hurried to catch up to Napoleon. The CEA suit was torn and bloody.

"How was your assignment in Greenland, Napoleon?"

"Freezing, snowy and lonely. How was yours in the Brazilian jungle."

"Hot, sticky and bug infested."

After a few silent minutes, Illya said. "One of us needs to call this in. I mean what could he possibly do to us worse than our last assignment?"

…

"What can be worse, indeed. Two weeks of budget and expense reports."

"Hopefully, Thrush will cause a revolution or something soon."

"We can only hope, partner."


	68. Sorrow 1:3

"Come on my friend, let me take you home," Illya told his partner after finding him drunk in the tavern.

"I couldn't save her. I wasn't in time." Napoleon said as he entered the car.

"I know. We cannot always save everyone."

"She was an innocent."

"She knew who she was working for."

"But didn't understand what they were."

"You tried convincing her. She chose to return to the lab."

Helping Napoleon into his apartment, he knew this time his partner couldn't be comforted. As he pulled up the blanket, Illya whispered in his ear, "You tried your best, sleep."


	69. Sorrow 2:3

He opened his eyes to the sun coming in. The drummer in his head was pounding out a loud and rapid beat. Checking for his gun, he found it under his pillow. How had he gotten home and into his bed? Last he remembered he was attempting to drown his sorrows.

After relieving himself and then washing his face, he hit the hallway door and heard sounds.

He started for the kitchen gun in hand to investigate the noise. Alerted, the smell of coffee greeted him.

Oh yes, now he remembered. His partner had been there for him once more.


	70. Sorrow 3:3

"How are you doing this morning?" Illya asked as he handed his partner coffee and two aspirins.

Napoleon thought about it. The pain was still there, his failure to save her continued to eat at him, but knowing his partner was there when he needed him helped the pain fade a little.

"I just wish I could have thought of something to save her."

"You cannot save the world Napoleon."

"I only wanted to save one small part of it.

"I know."

It would take time but he knew that Illya would stay by his side until he could face his pain.


	71. Games

The car took off roaring into the rain, and the storm prevented the occupants from seeing clearly out the front windshield.

The driver focused on the end of the line. Wheels squealed as he took the turns on the road, stones could be heard hitting other cars as they were passed. Other vicheles were sent flying off the side of the mountain as the car thundered by.

Finally, a turn was missed and the racing car lost it traction, sending it soaring down the ravine.

Napoleon heard his partner yell, "Proklyatie, we are dead."

"Honestly Illya, it's just a arcade game."


	72. Illya's Birthday

"What's a matter partner?"

"Just thinking about life, and how some days are better forgotten."

"Any specific day?"

Suddenly Illya realized that Napoleon was getting closer to what he was trying to forget, "No just thinking about different days and how things change over the years."

"Seems if you are sitting there thinking about it, it must be important to you."

"Nothing to worry about."

Napoleon crossed the room and set a brightly wrapped gift on his desk, "Happy Birthday partner, dinner's on me."

A smile slowly spread across Illya's face, maybe new memories of this day could be made.


	73. Americana-Football 1

This time Napoleon arrived wearing a New York Jets jacket.

"Let me guess. You want to introduce me to another American sport," Illya said as he moved aside to allow his partner into his apartment.

_"That's why you are such a good UNCLE agent, tovarisch. You catch on quickly."_

"I do not suppose you would forget this if I ask."

_"It's the fall, and almost every American male will be watching their favorite team this afternoon. I have tickets on the fifty-yard line. You don't know what I had to do to score these for us."_

"I hate to ask."


	74. Americana Football 2

"What is this fifty yard line?"

_"It is mid-field and the best seats in the house."_

"And how does this game work?"

_"One team scores points by advancing a ball into the opposing team's end zone. Points are scored by carrying the ball over the opponent's goal line or kicking the ball through the other's team goal post."_

"What is a goal post?"

_"At the end of each field there are two poles with a horizontal crossbar between them."_

"So we have tickets half way between the areas where the points are scored. It sounds like we are not very lucky."


	75. Americana: Football 3

"They are tailgating here also, Napoleon?"

_"Well actually, it started at football games. It's an opportunity for fans to share companionship, a kind of pre-celebration."_

"And if your team loses?"

_"Really Illya, can we just enjoy ourselves?"_

"What is on these hamburgers?" Illya asked looking at the burgers that had a shape of a football with "JETS" written inside, an outline of the letters "NY pressed into them behind the football.

_"The team's logo."_

"But no one sees the logo once you put it on a bun." Illya said smirking.

_"Here just eat your hamburger_," Napoleon handed him one.


	76. Americana Football 4:6

Illya shook his head as he looked around the field where the crowd was dressed in green and white shirts, jackets, and hats. People had their bodies painted hunter green and white, others were waving pennants, or holding up huge green foam fingers with the Jets logo on them while girls were jumping up and down shaking pompoms in similar colors.

_"What is it now, partner?"_

"Why do people do that?"

_"We enjoy the sportsmanship."_

"No, I mean all this green and white."

_"It's the teams color."_

"Reminds me of Thrush."

_"What?"_

"They also have team colors, brown."

_"ILLYA!"_


	77. Americana Football 5:6

Bundled up in a warm jacket, Illya noticed his partner was shivering.

"Why did you come to the game instead of watching it on television, I know much you hate the cold."

_"It's the thrill of being part of the crowd. No one knows me, what I do for a living, or who I just had to kill. I am just another fan."_

"Is important to you? To be just one of the crowd?" Illya was surprised at Napoleon candor.

Napoleon ignored the question, as it started to rain, _"Now it will really get exciting."_

Then said quietly, _"Yes, at times."_


	78. Americana Football 6:6

_"Tovarisch, what did you think of the game?"_

Illya looked at his partner. His face was red from the cold, but it was the twinkle in Napoloen's eyes that really caught his attention. After all the sports his friend had dragged him to, he realized that he had learned a secret Napoleon hid very deeply. His love for these games allowed him to let out the child he kept hidden. Illya was very touched that his partner trusted him enough to share this part of his life.

"Thank you for sharing your day with me," was all he said smiling.


	79. Bandy 1:9

"Now what American game are you dragging me too?" Illya teased Napoleon.

_"Illya, is that anyway to greet your partner who's is offering you a fun day?"_

Winter coat, gloves, and stocking hat covered a polo shirt without a logo. The American seemed anxious for some reason about this trip.

_"Let's go, the game starts in one hour."_

As the car pulled into the parking lot, Illya looked at the sign announcing the game, shock showed on his face while Napoleon had a large smile beaming at his partner's surprise.

"How did you find this?"

_"Research my friend, research."_


	80. Bandy 2:9

The sign announced the two teams that were there for the Bandy game. In small letters under it, the Ukrainian words хокей з м'ячемor or hockey with a ball appeared. Just the sign brought back memories from Illya's childhood before the war.

Memories of playing the game with his cousins and father, the cold air turning their cheeks red, their breath filling the air, and then the hot tea mama would have ready for them went they came back in from their fun.

_"I really don't understand this game so this time you need to explain it to me." Napoleon interupted his memories._


	81. Bandy 3:9

It took Illya a minute to get over the generosity of his partner.

"You found this for me?" Unable to believe someone would go through the trouble.

"_Well I figured, if I am teaching you about American sports, you might like to introduce me to an Ukrainian one. So why isn't this considered Ice Hockey?"_ he asked walking through the gate.

"Bandy is considered a national sport in Russia and some Soviet states. Although played on ice, unlike hockey it using a single round ball and a bandy stick," his excitement coming through as he spoke about the game.


	82. Bandy 4:9

"There are ten players and a goalkeeper on each team. The primary rule is that the players other than the goalkeepers may not intentionally touch the ball with their hands or arms during play. Heading the ball will result in five minutes in the sin-bin.

_"The what?"_

"Sin-bin is penalty box."

"_So there are rules to the confusion I'm seeing on the field down there,"_ Napoleon said with a smile. He could tell his surprise had the desired effect of bringing some pleasure to his normally serious partner.

Eyes twinkling, he turned smiling back, "Yes we have rules, Napoleon."


	83. Bandy 5:9

"_Those skates look different_," Napoleon observed.

"Yes, Bandy skates have a longer blade than hockey skates, and Russian skates are even longer."

"_Always have to be one up on others, hey tovarisch." _He teased._ "Why is the stick's bend different on some of them?"_

"The bend is the player's choice."

Napoleon looked around showing confusion.

"What are you looking for?"

"_No fan colors, no food vendors, or items for sale."_

"People in Russia have very little free time or money so we come to enjoy the game, but we have this." Handing him a warming flask of Vodka.


	84. Bandy 6:9

When the game ended, Illya took one last look at the field, wishing he could have been in the game.

As he headed down the stairs, Napoleon stopped him.

"_This way_."

Illya followed his partner into the locker room.

"Danylko, this is my friend Illya Kuryakin I told you about. He tells me he used to play the game."

The man turned giving Illya a big bear hug.

"So you are my brother Ukrainian that Napoleon tells me about all the time. Welcome. Come my friends; let us remember the good times when our country was free to enjoy this game."


	85. Bandy 7:9

After speaking for a while, Danylko said to Illya.

"So you played in the past?"

"As a child, nothing since," Illya admitted sadly.

"One does not forget the moves. Come my friend join our practice."

Before he could refuse, the team had Illya playing along with them. Napoleon watched from the stands enjoying the determination in his partners face, the joy of the game.

Soon Napoleon could see all Illya's training take hold as he whipped around the field, taking the ball in for a goal. His reddened face against his blonde hair stood out in the evening light.


	86. Bandy 8:9

After the game and thanking the team and promising to keep in touch, they left the locker room with Illya talking non-stop. Napoleon hadn't seen him this animated before so just smiled as he listened.

"I am sorry Napoleon, I am doing all the talking. Did you enjoy the game?"

_"I'd need to see a few more to understand it but yes I did."_

"What did you like best?"

Napoleon grinned but thought about what was really on his mind as it could result in upsetting his partner manner.

"_I think I enjoyed watching your enjoyment the most_," he offered guardedly.


	87. Bandy 9:9

They had arrived at the car and Illya smile disappeared slightly for a moment but then the grin reappeared.

"The games brought back memories."

_"I'm sorry if this caused you pain, it wasn't my intent."_

"No you misunderstand my friend. It brought back happy memories with my family before the war came destroying everything. It is one of the few cherished memories I have."

Napoleon thought of his own childhood. Although traveling throughout the world with his grandparents, he could remember enjoyable times.

_"I'm glad they're happy memories."_

"Let me tell you about our games," Illya said, joy in his voice.


	88. Chocolate Cake

The meal was comfortable and they were talking about things they would like to do if they were able to get some time off. They even dared to talk about the future and retirement. As Illya was talking Napoleon began to smile at him.

"What?"

"Good thing you have your lab to fall back on when you retire from the field."

"And why would that be?" Illya asked irritated.

Napoleon showed him the bill from the meal. "Your part of the bill is almost double mine."

"You are paying, right?"

Napoleon nodded.

"Chocolate cake then, to make it exactly double."


	89. Election 1:2

"What are you doing Napoleon?"

_"Studying the candidates running for election."_

"Don't you find this change in government every four years confusing and irritating?"

_"Irrigating?"_

"The constant ads on TV and the radio."

_"No. I find them informative. Besides these men and women will decide the future of my country. It's important I vote correctly."_

"Do all people do this?"

_"What?"_

"Research who is running for office."

_"Unfortunately many people don't even vote."_

"Do they not care who makes their decisions?"

_"Afraid not."_

"Perhaps if they saw how it is without the freedom."

"_Then it would be too late for freedom."_


	90. Election 2:2

The day after the election Illya found his partner looking over the newspaper.

"What are you doing Napoleon?"

"Studying the election results."

"Wait, first you study, then you vote, than you study who was elected."

"That's it."

"Why the decisions have been made?"

"True but those who are now going to be in power will make changes. I'd like to see what those changes might be."

"But you can do nothing about them, can you?"

"We can let them know how we'd like them to vote on issues."

"I do not understand."

"Freedom, the people we elect speak for us."


	91. Trust

"Well my friend, it's been a good fight but we're surrounded, without ammo, and no way to get out of here. So what do you want to do?"

"_I have followed you all over the world why change now."_

Napoleon smiled at the trust his partner had in him. "Then guess we'll surrender."

Illya smile spread_, "And then?"_

They raised their hands and were immediately surrounded.

"Six to one, good odds," Illya whispered.

After a fury of fists, kicks, and gunshots, the UNCLE agents were the only ones standing.

"Thanks for your confidence and trust."

"_Always, after all we are partners."_


	92. Family

"Well are you ready for tomorrow, tovarisch." Napoleon asked excitedly.

"Tomorrow? I have no plans. What are you talking about?"

"Thanksgiving, my Russian Friend. You're coming with me to Aunt Amy's house remember. She invited you."

"I did not say I accepted. Really, this is a day for families in your country, not partners".

"Besides my aunt, you're my family," Napoleon said slightly hurt. "It wouldn't be the same without you."

Illya hadn't been part of a family in years, and Napoleon insisted he was part of his.

"Thank you, I would be honored to accept," deeply touched by the sentiment.


	93. Downed once more follow-up

A few people wanted to know what Napoleon told Waverly about getting lost, here it is.

Confined to medical, legs in traction, the agents talked about the mission and their report.

_"What did you tell Waverly about getting lost while we were trying to reach the pick-up point?"_

"I didn't mention we got lost, just said because Thrush was trying to catch us, we needed to circle the area until it was clear."

_"And he purchased that?"_

"Brought Illya, not purchased. Well he didn't say he didn't believe it."

_"Oh but?"_

"While we're on desk duty, we'll be taking a direction finding course."

_"Why we, I did not get us lost."_

"We're partners aren't we?"

_"Grrrr."_

Paste your document here...


	94. St Nick's

'_What is this box on my desk?"_ Illya asked.

"St. Nick left you chocolates. He brings gifts to all good agents on December 5th night."

"_Americans. You find any reason to give gifts."_

"We enjoy occasions that allow us to make our friends happy."

"_But there seems so many of occasions."_

"If you don't want the chocolates, I'm more than willing to take them back."

"_I will not insult you by refusing your gift."_ He said placing the box in the drawer after popping a piece in his mouth.

"I thought you'd see it that way," Napoleon said smiling.

NOTE: St Nickolas day is celebrated on Dec 6th. The night of the fifth, children hang their stockings and hope to get candy and small treats if they have been good.


	95. St Nick's Day

"Well tovarisch what did you think of St. Nick's day," Napoleon asked looking at Illya's desk covered in candy.

"It is an interesting holiday, all these small tokens of friendship."

"Women know the way to your heart is through your sweet tooth."

"I am happy to allow you to take care of the women."

Napoleon chuckled, "But are they willing to allow that?"

Ignoring the question, Illya offered him a small wrapped package.

Inside it were Napoleon's favorite chocolates. He looked questionably at him, "What's this for?"

"For being my best friend and partner. Happy St. Nick's Day," Illya said grinning.


	96. December 7th

"_What is the problem Napoleon? You seem down today."_

"I'm just thinking about man's inhumanity to man."

"_That is a large undertaking. Has something happened that I can help you with?"_

"No, it just the day I suppose. I'm afraid people are going to forget about the lessons that were learned that day."

"_Day?"_

"December 7, 1941."

Illya now understood his partner's mood_. "You had an admiral grandfather, was he there?"_

"No, but I lost a number of cousins."

"_Well my friend, as long as there are people like you remembering, the lessons learned that day will not be forgotten."_


	97. Questioning the season 1:5

_"Mark."_

"Yes Illya."

_"Can you explain this American fixation with giving gifts at this time of year?"_

"It's not just Americans. It's a time to let those who mean something to you know how you feel."

_"How do you decide what to buy for others? Do you buy something they need or something that is just a token of friendship. And who to buy for?"_

"I guess that depends on the person."

_"I not sure what to do about the season."_

"I'd let your heart be your guide, my friend."

_"Thank you. You have given me something to think about."_


	98. Questioning the season 2:5

_"April"_

"Yes Illya."

_"If you wanted to give something to a best friend, how would you go about selecting it."_

"I guess it would depend on who the person is."

Illya said nothing looking down at his hands.

"It's Napoleon isn't it?" April asked.

_"I know he has almost everything he could want. So I am at a lost what to give him that would show him that I appreciate his friendship."_

"He has given you no ideas?"

He thought over that question. There was one thing Napoleon had asked for from him, but could he give it to him.


	99. Questioning the season 3:5 (redone)

Illya sat silently thinking about what Mark and April said. Napoleon was his best friend, more like a brother than a partner. In the years they had been together Napoleon had asked very little of him.

Yet the few things he had asked, he either ignored the question or his attitude prevented Napoleon from asking anything further. It wasn't that he didn't trust Napoleon as it was never an issue between them.

Mark and April told him to let his heart be his guide, smiling his lifted the phone.

"Napoleon would you care to come to my house for dinner tonight?"


	100. Questioning the Season 4:5

Napoleon was surprised when he was invited to dinner and drinks at Illya's. His partner was a very private person.

"I had a hard time deciding what to give you for Christmas," Illya began.

"It's not necessary, you know."

"I have spoken to Mark and April, and both suggested I give something from my heart."

Waiting patiently for the Russian to continue, Napoleon wondered where this was heading.

"I would like to tell you about my family."

"I'm privileged, but are you sure?

"I would like to share them with you, my friend. My father was a general in...'


	101. Questioning the season 5:5

Illya spoke of his father who died fighting for freedom, his mother who encouraged his learning, his grandmother who taught him about caring, Jo who he thought he had lost, and the younger children who didn't make their second birthday. He shared stories of their lives up to his family's death at the hands of the Germans.

Napoleon said nothing at first.

Illya wondered if perhaps his gift wasn't appropriate.

Then Napoleon said, "I knew I've had your friendship and partnership, but to know you trust me with your memories, I'm deeply honored. Merry Christmas, tovarisch."

"Merry Christmas, my friend."


	102. Snow Flakes

"I saw that you know," Napoleon said with a snicker. It was snowing, and they were hiding on top of a hill watching a Thrush compound.

"_Saw what?"_ Illya said irritated.

"You were catching snowflakes on your tongue."

"_Napoleon, I believe you have lost your mind. We could at any moment be spotted and killed, and you think I would be playing a silly child's game,"_ he denied.

Napoleon just grinned at his friend looking back toward the buildings.

After a few minutes, he said, "How many did you catch?"

"_Twenty-five_," Illya responded without thinking.

"Caught you." Napoleon laughed.

"_Sneaky American."_


	103. Gifts?

Napoleon knocked on Illya's door.

"_A minute." _

Napoleon could hear crashing, things falling, and a few Russian curses.

"Are you okay?'

Worried he was just about to use his key to let himself in when the door was opened.

"What happened, it sounded like a war in here?'"

"_I was moving something."_

Napoleon noticed a lump under a blanket. Lifting the cover, he saw wrapped gifts and looked surprised at his non-Christmas partner.

"Christmas presents?"

"_Others give me gifts so it is only courteous that I return the thoughtfulness."_

"And I'll defend your right to stick to that explanation," Napoleon said grinning.


	104. Gift 2

Illya carried in drinks from the kitchen to find Napoleon looking at the gift's tags.

"_If you are looking for yours, it is not there."_

"I wasn't looking for mine. I can wait to Christmas day."

"_Napoleon you are like a child at Christmas, and you cannot wait."_

"I can be very patient when I need to," he said sulking.

"_You will have to wait till Christmas."_

"You know I'm a spy and good at finding things."

"_And I am a better at hiding them. Not before Christmas."_

Napoleon grinned, happy that his partner was getting into the spirit of the holiday.


	105. Gift 3

Illya could hear a noise coming from his front room even through the intruder was being quiet. Grabbing his special, he tiptoed to the doorway. Knowing what he would find, he watched the man searching the room.

Carefully moving and replacing pillows, blankets and papers, the man continued to search.

Finally unable to holp back the laughter any longer, Illya flipped on the light causing his partner, who was looking under the couch, to jump up.

_"I thought you could wait"_

"I left my wallet before." Napoleon defended his actions.

_"Good night Napoleon." _He said opening the door.


	106. Gifts 4:5

"Napoleon, I could use some advice on the last gift I need to buy."

"Yes?"

'I would like to find Mrs. Waverly a Christmas gift. She has treated me kindly since I arrived."

"Give something that's special to you."

"I do not want to give offense."

'Make it something unique, perhaps from your culture."

Illya thought about the beautiful things his mother had made for Christmas.

"Thank you. I know what to give."

On Christmas Eve, Mrs. Waverly opened a brightly wrapped box. "Oh my, it beautiful."

Inside was an engraved Ukrainian ornament—"To one who has shown me kindness, INK."


	107. Gifts 5

Illya watched his partner's reaction as he handed out the gifts until he took mercy on the man.

"Did you like what I got you?" Illya asked his quiet partner.

Napoleon looked questioning at him. He hadn't received anything from the Russian.

"If you would have worked on your reports, you would have found it. It was the first one I placed this morning."

Under his files, he found an envelope with tickets to a sold out play.

"How?"

"A friend. Which woman will take?"

"I'll be asking my closest friend."

"And who is that?"

"You tovarisch Merry Christmas."


	108. Day After

"Well tovarisch you made quite a haul yesterday."

_"Haul? I am not sure what you mean."_

"It just a saying that meaning you received a lot of presents."

_"I thought it was because that is what is expected during Christmas."_

"No, it's because they like you including Aunt Amy's dinner invitation."

_"Your aunt is a wonderful woman opening her home to me and to buy me a gift on top of it. I just do not understand why everyone has been so kind to me."_

"It's simple my stubborn Russian friend. Even though you don't show others you care, they know."


	109. Russian Holidays 1:4

"Napoleon, do you have plans for New Year's Eve?" Illya asked quietly after playing with his pen for a while avoiding looking directly at his partner.

"I've some fires in the works but nothing definite. Why?"

"It does not matter, if you are doing something."

"Oh no you don't partner. Why did you ask?"

"My friends from Little Odessa invited me to join them celebrating the New Years, and said to bring a friend. I thought if you had nothing to do, I would invite you. You have shown me your celebrations, and I want to return the kindness."


	110. Russian Holidays 2:4 (double drabble)

_"I'd be happy to join you_," Napoleon said quickly.

"What about your plans?"

_"I'd enjoy spending the day with you. How does an Ukrainian celebration the holidays?"_

"Actually it is three day, Dec 31st, Jan 7th and Jan 13th."

_"And people think you don't know how to party,"_ Napoleon teased.

"The 31st involves festive foods, and a decorate firtree, to see off the old year and bring in only good things. On streets, you can hear laughter and see fireworks. It is the day that _Did Moroz_ and _Sengurochka _pass out Christmas gifts."

_"More gifts and food why am I not surprised that you would be interested in going to the celebration." _

Ignoring him, Illya continued. "On January 7th families celebrate Christmas with a twelve course meatless meal. And on the 13th the old New Year eve, we havecelebrations with carolers going from house to house playing pranks or performing small plays. Finally, after supper neighbors apologize for the possible wrongs to each other bringing the New Year in with peace and harmony."

_"And you do this yearly?"_

"No," Illya admitted looking at his partner, "I have not had family to share it with, but this year."

"_Yes partner, we're family."_


	111. Russian Holiday 3:4

Both men felt a little uncomfortable being so honest with their feelings. Each knew what the other meant to him, but verbalizing it was difficult.

To cover the awkwardness Napoleon grabbed his 1968 calendar. "Wait a second; I'll need a pencil."

_"What for?"_ Illya was happy to move on from his strong feelings.

"If the Ukrainians are redesigning the holiday calendar, I need to make note of it so I don't forget."

_"Napoleon, we are not changing the dates; these customs are old and honored."_

"But confusing to the rest of the world."

The comfort of their banter began.


	112. Russian Holiday 4:4

Napoleon walked out of the gym tired, head aching.

"This is your fault," he accused Illya.

_"How do you figure that?"_

"You forgot to remind me, we agreed to give the demonstration today. I am so full from the food and hung over from that lighter fluid we drank."

_"I told you to take it slow."_

"If you can handle it, I should be able to."

_"Napoleon, I grew up on it. You did not have fun?"_ He asked concerned.

"That's the problem, I had too much fun."

_"Happy New Years my friend."_

"Happy New Years tovarisch."

_"Ready for the 7th?"_

'moan'


	113. Dressing

Napoleon watched his partner dress. Although they both had only the clothes they escaped in, he had hung his up while Illya had thrown his on the chair.

Slipping on his wrinkled pant and shirt, Illya sat to pull on his socks and shoes.

Napoleon shook his head getting the Russian's attention. "What?"

"Didn't you ever hear of style and neatness?"

"I was shot at after being pushed into a mud puddle, this is as fashionable as I get."

To accent his statement, he raked his fingers through his hair. "I am ready." He said smirking further exasperating his partner.


	114. Z Rizdvom (Ukrainian Christmas)

"What is this?" Illya asked as he picked up the envelope on his desk.

_"Open it and see."_

"Has it been scanned?"

_"Illya! Just open it."_

Inside were tickets dated January 7th for a Ukrainian Celebration he wanted to see but because of a long assignment hadn't been able to get tickets as they were sold out.

"How did you get these? You were with me on assignment."

_"I have connections too."_

"Women connections?" Illya teased.

_"You did want to see that program?"_

"Yes, but why today?"

_"Merry Christmas, I wanted to celebrate with you."_

"Thank you." Touched by Napoleon thoughtfulness.


	115. Innocents

They walked down the side of the road, gun in hand searching for anyone alive.

Thrush had been here before them and the village was wiped out.

"Why?" Napoleon asked disgusted.

"It is their way," Illya responded knowing that his partner's heart was breaking.

"Men, women, and children for a piece of information." Napoleon's anger filling his words.

A sudden cry brought the men to a mother hiding with a baby.

"You're safe," Napoleon comforted her smiling.

"We cannot bring the others back, but we will keep them safe." Illya promised.

"I know," he said offering his hand to the woman.


	116. Snowball

Illya's week had been dreadful with everything going wrong. Napoleon assured him that it wasn't his fault, but he knew better. Now his partner had called demanding they meet by the statue in the park.

He arrived searching for Solo. Unexpectedly a snowball hit him in the head.

"Snowball fight," Napoleon yelled out.

Angrily he turned and was hit again. With nothing else in sight, he grabbed some snow forming a snowball. Soon a full-blown fight was in progress.

Tired out, the two fell into the nearby snow bank, "Feeling better, tovarisch."

"Much thank you, drink?" Smiling the two left.


	117. Cold 1:3

Illya entered the office at the end of Napoleon cancelling a date with the new girl from the lab.

"Why?" he asked.

Lifting his head, Napoleon's eyes were red, nose was running, and his breathing was ragged. "I caught a cold."

"Should you be in medical? You look horrible."

"Thanks partner, but I'll just get though it without their help."

His comment ended with a long coughing fit after which he couldn't catch his breath.

"I'm doing well, no need for a doctor." Napoleon started coughing again.

A knowing look from Illya, and Napoleon said, "I surrender. Take me to medical."


	118. Cold 2:3

_"How you doing partner?"_ Illya asked as he entered the room. Napoleon was hooked up to an IV with pills lying on his table.

"I have Pneumonia. If I could get hold of that Thrush agent that dunked my head mucky water while interrogating me, I'll kill him."

_"Napoleon he was killed during the rescue so you do not need to worry."_

"Then I'd dig him up and kill him again."

"_What is so different about this time, you had Pneumonia before?"_

"Do you know how long it took me to get a date with Sarah?"

_"I should have known."_


	119. Cold 3:3

Coming into the office whistling, Napoleon was happy to be back to work, date rescheduled. He noticed his partner was looking down at a file.

_"It's so great to be out of medical and able to be able to breath without coughing. You can't believe how miserable I was."_

Illya lifted his head, his eyes were red, nose was running, and his breathing was ragged. He began to cough and was unable to catch his breath.

_"You're sick."_

"I caught your Pneumonia." He said when he could talk again.

_"Off you go to Medical."_

Coughing again uncontrollably, "You win, medical."


	120. Contest

Illya rushed into his office and hid behind the file cabinet.

_"I am not here_." he called out as he passed his partner's desk.

"What is going on?"

The door opened and two secretaries came in.

"Did Illya come in here?" they asked.

"No. Did you try his lab?"

The women left leaving Napoleon chuckling as Illya came out from hiding.

"Okay, give."

_"They want me to judge their baking contest."_

"You do like to eat."

_"Do you remember what happened when Henderson, last year's judge, had the loser do his paperwork?"_

"I hear an assignment coming on."

_"Thanks partner."_


	121. Watching

Napoleon sat on the bed gun in hand. He had managed to rescue his partner who now laid beside him body with varies shades of black, blue and purple decorating it. He knew Illya hadn't slept or ate for the last three days. Thrush had been too busy trying to break him, but Illya had kept his secrets until Napoleon had arrived.

Watching the door, gun in hand Napoleon almost hoped they hadn't evaded their pursuers. He almost hoped Thrush would try to enter the room. If they did, he would show them what happens to someone who hurt his partner.


	122. Exchange

He walked toward the car, would they really allow him, his freedom. He could see his partner standing there hands away from his sides to show he was unarmed.

They had captured him as the building he was sent to destroy crumbled around him. He had been beaten and drugged but he didn't talk. The goal besides destroying the building was safe. It was an order, and he obeyed hoping their mission would success.

He passed their agent that he was being exchanged for. Smiling he reached the other side.

"It worked?"

"Yes, our man is now back in their organization."


	123. Rules for Medical

"Illya it's bad. Let the doctor look that over."

_"I am fine."_

"The cut on your leg from the rusty pipe looks red and infected. If you're a good boy he might give you a lollipop."

Illya glared at his partner, _"I do not need a lollipop or a doctor."_

"Look partner, you know the rules. Any injury or sickness must be reported to the doctor."

_"Any injury or sickness?"_

"That's the rule."

_"Then doctor can check out that cut on your arm too."_

"But…."

_"He will give you a lollipop."_ Illya smirked as he headed toward medical frowning Napoleon followed.


	124. Medical Rules 2:4

"You want what, Mr Kuryakin?" the doctor asked confused.

"_A lollipop before you look at my leg."_

"Why?"

"_Napoleon said if I came to medical I would get a lollipop."_

"Mr. Solo?"

"He wouldn't come so I tried bribing him."

"Didn't you think to order him?"

"You want to try."

Sighing the doctor left returning with a roll of life savers.

"Will this do? I have no lollipops."

"_I suppose_," Grinning Illya showed him the leg after taking the candy.

"Mr. Solo, you're next."

"He promised me candy too," Napoleon said.

"Section Two!" the doctor said leaving the room again.


	125. Medical Rules 3:4

The doctor, who had issued the order that all Section Two injures and sickness be medically checked out, angrily came through the door.

"You have to put a stop to this now!"

"_Stop to what_?" Napoleon asked innocently while a grinning Illya hid behind a file.

"Second Two agents have been stopping by, insisting on having their scratches and paper cuts checked out then demanding candy."

_"Well it's your order, and we like to reward our agents that follow rules."_

Glaring at the two senior agents, "Okay we'll go back to the old guidelines."

_"I'll pass the word."_

"Section Two!"


	126. Medical Rules 4:4

"Mr. Solo, Mr. Kuryakin the doctor says this charge for 100 rolls of life savers is your fault. Would you care to explain," Waverly demanded showing them the bill.

"We were just following rules sir," Napoleon explained.

"Well gentlemen, since you were behind this expenditure you each owe ten dollars."

The men each placed ten dollars on the table grinning as they left.

"Aren't you going to do more? They purposely undermined my orders."

"Dismissed," Waverly told the doctor. As the doctor left indignantly, Waverly smiled.

Leave it to Solo and Kuryakin to find an imaginative way to make a point.


	127. Bodyguard 1:14

"Why did Waverly send us to pick up this witness? Usually he sends Section 3 on this type of assignment," Napoleon asked as he watched his partner maneuver in the busy traffic.

"He has a head filled of information, and Thrush wants him bad enough they have already killed his family."

As they arrived at the pick-up point, the men pulled their guns and silently slipped into the building where the witness was hiding.

After checking the site and not finding anyone, Napoleon called out. "We're from UNCLE. Come out with your hands up."

From under a crate a ten-year-old boy rose.


	128. Body Guard 2:14

The boy's face was wet from crying and he shook as the men approached him.

"Please don't hurt me," he begged as they stood in front of him.

Napoleon and Illya glanced at each other once more wondering how it is Thrush always seems to go after the innocents.

"Are you Robert Casey?" Napoleon asked kneeling in front of the boy.

"Yes," he sniffled.

Illya handed him his hankie, "We will not hurt you. Our superior sent us to get you."

"My dad told me to run, but I saw the bad men killed my mom, dad, and sister. Why?"


	129. BodyGuard 3:14

"Let's go before we have company," Napoleon said as he headed toward the door.

"No!" the boy said refusing to move.

"We don't have time for this. Thrush could be here any second," Napoleon tried reasoning with the boy.

"NO!" Robert shouted.

Illya could see his partner becoming frustrated. Give Napoleon a woman and he could get them to do anything ; however a child, Napoleon had no idea how to handle one.

"Why not?" Illya asked the boy gently.

"My dad said not to go with anyone unless they have an UNCLE ID. You two didn't show me one."


	130. Body Guard Chapter 4:14

Illya grinned at his partner, "He does have a point."

Napoleon and Illya pulled out their identification and showed it to the boy.

"I'm Napoleon Solo and this is my partner, Illya Kuryakin. Now can leave before we are prevent from departing so?"

Illya placed his hand on the boy's shoulder and directed him toward the door while grinning at Napoleon who was scowling. As they walked, the boy stumbled and was dizzy.

"When did you eat last Robert?" Illya asked.

"Two days ago, I was afraid to leave here." Tears crowded his eyes.

"Napoleon, we passed a McDonald's down the road."


	131. Body Guard Chapter 5:14

Napoleon watched the two eat. Illya ate four Big Macs to Roberts two, fries and shakes. A smile finally appeared on the boy's face.

"My dad always told me to be very careful. He said if anything ever happened to him, I was to call the number he gave me and only go with someone who had an UNCLE ID." He explained.

"You're very brave," Napoleon told him biting of his hamburger.

"I'm not brave. I ran when they killed my family." The smile disappeared and tears threatened again.

Illya remembered his own pain as a child without a family.


	132. Body Guard 6:14

While taking a bite of his food, pictures filled Illya's head of stealing food to feed himself and others. Next the memory of returning to his grandmother's dacha with his sister, Jo, to find it burning and his mother, younger brother and sister, and beloved grandmother dead only to further believe he had lost Jo later that day. It had been a lot but he survived.

Robert's defiance when asked to come with them had shown Illya that this child was a survivor.

"We need to leave before it gets too late," Napoleon said shaking Illya out of his memories.

"Da."


	133. BodyGuard Chapter 7:14

As they drove from Philadelphia to New York, Robert fell asleep in the back seat.

"Poor kid, to lose his family that way," Napoleon said.

Facing similar challenges during his life, Illya saw the same determination in this child that he himself had shown.

"He is a survivor. It will be hard but he will be okay." Illya said pain heard in his voice.

"Are you okay?" Napoleon asked concerned.

"It is only memories." Illya said before seeing a fast moving car.

"Napoleon, company," Illya shouted as the first bullet hit their auto.

"Robert, get on the floor," Napoleon yelled.


	134. Body Guard Chapter 8:14

Fighting the slippery road and trying to avoid the bullets, Illya managed to keep the car on the road only until a sharp turn. The car flew off the road, down a hill and crashed into a tree.

Napoleon had managed to keep Robert steady until the last minute. Once the car stopped moving, the UNCLE agents were thrown again the car's sides.

Robert stood up and saw his bodyguards unconscious.

"Napoleon, Illya please wake up." Neither man moved.

Robert smelled gas and knew he had to pull them from the car and hide them from the men above.


	135. BodyGuard Chapter 9:14 (a double today)

Although the men weighted more than Robert did, struggling he managed to pulled each man out and under a bush. He heard the doors of the car opening at top of the hill.

"Do you think their dead?" 0ne voice asked.

"Hey it Solo and Kuryakin. They have more lives than a cat. We better check this out the boss will have our heads," another answered.

As the men started down the hill, the first one said, "Wait, smell that gas, how about we have a barbeque."

With that, he struck a match and threw it at the car.

Just as he finished pulling the agents away from the car, it exploded sending debride into the air. Robert dived into the bush along with the men. He could hear voices laughing.

"Thrush is finally rid of Solo and Kuryakin, and Martel is safe from the boy's testimony."

Then doors slammed shut and engines could be heard moving away.

Illya opened his eyes to see Robert sitting next to him. his arms surrounded his knees.

"What happened?"

Robert quickly told him what had occurred. Illya could see the difficulty the boy had holding in his tears.

"Your quick thinking saved us."


	136. Body Guard Chapter 10 (double one)

Robert stopped his sniffles and wiped his nose on his shirt. Once more the brave child, because was just what he was, a scared child.

"I was so scared and you two wouldn't wake up. Then those guys stopped their cars and I knew I needed to get you out of the car. And you two were so heavy but I knew you needed to hide. Then they threw that match at the car."

"You did the right thing."

"But what if I didn't get you out in time?"

"Robert, how you managed I am no sure, but appreciate it."

"You were easy Illya, but Napoleon needs to lose weight," Robert told him.

"Hey, I heard that," Napoleon had just regain consciousness.

Robert looked concerned that the agent was angry.

"It's okay, Illya says that all the time. We need to get away now," Napoleon said.

"They left in their car saying we're dead," Robert told him.

"Let's not disappoint them," Napoleon pulled out his communicator arranging for a helicopter pick-up.

….

After the boy was safely delivered to headquarters, Waverly informed them they were relieved of their charge; however, they asked to be able safeguard the boy until he testified.


	137. Body Guard Chapter 11:14 (double one)

I'm surprised Mr. Solo. I thought you believed you were above this type of assignment," Waverly mildly reprimanded him for his early statement which he had overheard the agent saving as he was leaving the office after receiving the assignment.

"I was wrong and apologize, sir. Besides I want to see the look on Martel face when we enter the courtroom with Robert."

"Gratification, Mr. Solo?"

"No sir, justice. Mantel is the worst kind of Thrush. We want to see that the boy is able to live without fear."

Napoleon looked to his partner for support.

Illya continued what Napoleon was trying to get across.

"Robert is a brave young boy who has had a lot of pain in his young life. We just want to make sure he has the satisfaction of putting away the man who killed his family."

Waverly looked at his agents. He could see how important this was to them. "Precede gentlemen."

They picked up Robert from the cafeteria.

"I think you are rubbing off on him, Illya." Solo said as he saw the large number of empty dishes before the boy.

Rolling his eyes, Illya led the way to the safe house.


	138. Body Guard Chapter 12:14 (a double)

The day of the trial came, and Robert stood between Illya and Napoleon.

"Frightened?" Napoleon asked.

Robert nodded his head slightly.

Illya looked down at him, placing his hand on the boy's shoulder. It always surprised Napoleon at how gentle Illya could be when the need arrived. He knew most people thought of his partner as cold and uncaring, but he knew the truth, Illya cared very deeply but because of his experience showed it very seldom.

"You are a strong person Robert, and I believe you are a survivor. There is nothing wrong with being afraid if you do not let it control you."

"But you and Napoleon aren't afraid of anything."

Napoleon placed his hand on Robert's other shoulder. "We're afraid more than you can imagine. But we do what we do because we believe in it."

As Illya went to check on the progress of the trial, Robert said to Napoleon.

"Illya doesn't smile often does he? Has he also been hurt in the past?"

Before Napoleon could answer, Illya returned.

"You are on next. Are you ready to face Martel Robert? Napoleon and I will be at your side."

"Let's get him!" smiling Robert led the way.


	139. BodyGuard Chapter 13:14

As they walked into the courtroom, Napoleon remembered Waverly's comment.

"Robert is the only one who can put Martel at the mass murder last month. When Thrush ordered his father to kill Robert he refused. Gentlemen keep him safe."

They would see the boy was safe.

…

"Robert Ovella to the witness stand," the bailiff called.

Smiling Martel knew with the boy dead he was safe. The smile faded as the door opened and Solo and Kuryakin entered with Robert between them.

"You're dead! They told me you fried in that car." Martel yelled.

"I feel alive how about you Illya, Robert?" Napoleon asked.

Illya sneered, "I think your friends were mistaken."

Martel's lawyer pulled him back into his seat, "I'll discredit him on the stand." He assured the Thrush chieftain.

…..

No matter how hard he tried and how much Martel glared at him Robert never once changed his story. Looking at the agents, he told of how he saw Martel kill a number of men and order the death of others. Then how he killed Robert's family when his father refuse to kill him as ordered.

….

"I'll kill you," Martel screamed as the jury pronounced him guilty.


	140. Bodyguard Chapter 14:Epilogue

Martel jumped up and went after the boy but was surrounded by Napoleon, Illya, guards and bailiffs. He fought to get near the boy but never made it. Once the crowd moved away, Martel laid on the ground dead with a bruise above his temporal artery.

….

Waverly looked at the two agents in front of him. "Martel's death has been ruled: death by unknown hands and the case is close gentlemen. Robert's aunt is here to take him home to her."

The men rose. "Ah, Mr. Kuryakin. Have that bruised, swollen hand checked out by medical immediately."

As they walked out, Illya asked, "He knows?"

"He knows."

**15 years in the future**

Napoleon, Section 1 Number 1 waited with Illya for the door to open.

As it separated, a tall young man walked in, handing Napoleon his papers and said, "Reporting for duty sir."

Napoleon faced the new agent and said seriously, "You know just because we know you, you'll get no special consideration."

"Yes sir," Robert Ovella replied.

A large smile broke out on Illya's face as Napoleon smiling stood and embraced the man.

"Robert, we waited a long time for you to join us. Welcome you to UNCLE."


	141. Where is it? Chapter 1:12

The auto weaved between cars parked on each side of the narrow road. Its speed increasing as the following Thrush began to catch up.

"Illya, I would rather you not kills us with your driving," Napoleon said returning fire at the lead car.

"Would you rather I slow down so they can catch us?" Illya shot back.

"No, but…"

"Well maybe you would rather take over driving?"

Napoleon took a moment to look at the road before them, which continued to narrow and swivel. "No, thanks."

"Then focus on the danger behind us, while I get us out of here."


	142. Where is it? Chapter 2:12

Just returning from a diplomatic assignment, they were surprised when Thrush had ambushed them.

"Did you blow up something I don't know about?" Napoleon asked firing at the following cars.

"Nyet," a strained voice answered. "Did you take something that belongs to them?"

"Not me."

Illya continued to speed down the road until Napoleon heard him swear.

"Do I want to know what's wrong?"

"They have us boxed in," Illya called back.

Trying to turn into an alley, the car tipped sending both men into darkness.

They regained consciousness, surrounded, sun in their eyes and guns aimed at them.


	143. Where is it? Chapter 3:12

"Gentlemen," Eric Fabus, the tall blond neighborhood Thrush Chieftain said. "You have something that belongs to us, and we'd like it back now."

"Sorry, Eric. I've no idea what you're talking about. Do you Illya?"

"Sorry I think you have the wrong UNCLE agents this time," Illya said.

Fabus kicked him in the ribs. As Napoleon went to his partner's aide, he was also kicked.

"I gave you a chance to handle this in a peaceful way, now we'll do it the hard way. Bring them along."

With that, the agents felt a stringing in their neck and darkness returning.


	144. Where is it? Chapter 4:12

April and Mark entered Waverly's office to see him puffing angrily on his pipe.

"You wanted to see us sir."

"Confound Thrush. Mr. Solo and Kuryakin were ambushed then taken as they were returning from an assignment. According to the rumors, Thrush believes that they had stolen one of their devices."

"And they didn't, sir?" April asked.

"We were unaware of it until their kidnapping. I want you two to find out what this device is. If you can't retrieve it, destroy it."

"Yes sir," the two said standing.

"And I would appreciate you bringing Mr. Solo and Kuryakin back alive."


	145. Where is it? Chapter 5:12

Napoleon and Illya woke ropes around their wrist, ankles and chest secured to a chair. Their clothes, except undershorts, had been removed.

"Welcome back to the world of the living," Fabus said. "Now I would like our property back."

"I know you're not going to believe this, but we don't know what you're talking about. Check your people. We were protecting some presidents for the last week."

"And just happen to be around when the Cellular Disbursement device disappeared?"

Napoleon shrugged, "Never heard of it."

Tired of being nice Illya said, "Because we could, does not mean we did!"


	146. Where is it? Chapter 6:12

"And you Mr. Kuryakin. Are you going to deny you never heard of it?" Fabus challenged.

"I've heard of it and if I knew it was here would have attempted to steal it, but as Napoleon said we are innocent."

"Really gentlemen, I'm losing my patience. Either tell me where it is or I'll have my men find out for me."

Shrugging once more and hoping that someone had received their signal before capture, Napoleon and Illya knew that this was going to be a long, painful day.

Fabus left, ordering his men to get the location of the device.


	147. Where is it? Chapter 7:12

April and Mark arrived at the location of the accident. The police informed them that an ambulance had taken a blond and brunette away but not one could say where or even what the ambulance company's name was.

Looking thought the grass that lined the edge of the road, Mark found two broken communicators.

"They didn't want us to follow," he told April showing her the collection of broken metal.

April smiled, "They don't know our Russian do they." With that, she reset her communicator until a beeping appeared.

"Leave it to Illya's pessimistic nature. His secondary tracer is working."


	148. Where is it? Chapter 8:12

Following the tracer to a run-down warehouse, Mark and April watched the comings and goings. April poked Mark when Fabus stepped out for a cigarette.

"I'll get his attention," she said messing up her hair, discarding her blazer and holster, and covering her gun in her waistband before opening her blouse's top buttons.

Mark shook his head as she wiggled up the road.

"Hey mister. My car broke down a few miles back, and I could use help," she said.

He looked her over smiling figuring it was his lucky day. "Come inside my dear, and let me help you."


	149. Where is it? Chapter 9:12

"I just need to check on something and then I'd be more than happy to help you beautiful." Fabus said leaving April in a room right inside the door while he checked on the interrogation.

Once he was gone, April opened the door and Mark slipped in. They then headed in the direction that Fabus had taken.

…..

Fabus looked at the agents whose faces and chests were bruised and bleeding.

"There is no reason to extend this torture. Just tell me where's the device and I'll stop this."

"And kill us, no thanks." Napoleon slurred through his battered lips.


	150. Where is it? Chapter 10:12

"Mr. Kuryakin are you letting your partner speak for you?"

Illya glared through his swollen eyes. "_Proklyatie_!"

"Your choice. Let's try the electrodes." Fabus ordered.

"I wouldn't do that mate." Mark said while April darted the other men before they could react.

Mark untied the men while April directed Fabus to sit.

Illya stretched his body to release the built-up tension.

Napoleon shook his hands to get the blood flowing again. "Now. Where was this device last seen?"

"You really don't have it?" Shocked Fabus asked.

"What part of we did not take it, do you not understand?" Napoleon demanded.


	151. Where is it? Chapter 11:12

"Although we lie when needed, we told you we did not have it," Illya said coldly making Fabus realize this man was as dangerous as he had been warned.

Before anything further was discussed, April's communicator beeped.

"Miss Dancer, have you retrieved my missing agents?"

"Yes sir. We were just about to start searching for the device."

"No need. One of Thrush's scientists just turned it over to us. Bring yourself and my agents home. Cleanup will arrive soon." He clicked off.

Napoleon whispered to Illya. "This machine better be special!"

"And worth it," Illya added heading to the car.


	152. Where is it? Epilogue (double drabble)

Napoleon and Illya bandaged and bruised looked at the ordinary box on Waverly's desk.

"This is what all the excitement was about?" Napoleon looked dubious at it.

"Even I am not impressed," Illya added.

The scientist looked sheepishly. "It doesn't work yet. But you know how Thrush is, so I lied until I could get away."

"A fake," Illya spit out.

Napoleon laugh.

"Not funny, Solo." Illya frowned.

"All the times we've successfully stolen their inventions, we're kidnapped because of a red herring."

"This had nothing to do with a fish Napoleon."

Napoleon shook his head, "Red herring means something false."

"Why do you Americans insist on using terms that have nothing to do with what you mean?"

April stepped between the two men before they could continue with this particular ongoing battle. "What are we going to do with the device?"

"Mr. Kuryakin, take our guest and see what you can do with that machine. Mr. Solo you're to interrogate Fabus. Mr. Slate and Miss Dance you're on your way to Brazil."

As they left Waverly heard his top team banter begin once more. Boys will be boys, even grown-up one, was the thought that crossed his mind.


	153. Regret 1:11

Napoleon sat shoeless feet on the couch, a drink in his hand when he heard his partner's coded knock.

In too much pain to get up, he yelled for the Russian to enter.

Using the key Napoleon had given him, Illya entered, reset the alarms and grabbed a drink before looking at his partner with concern.

"_You left headquarters without telling me."_

"I needed space."

"_Napoleon, it is not your fault."_

"Whose then? I wasn't fast enough, you almost died."

"_But you saved me almost dying instead." _

"I'm CEA."

"_And only human."_

Silence followed as each man thought about the affair.


	154. Regrets 2:11

The assignment had gone well and as the cleanup crew arrived, they headed toward food. Illya had insisted he couldn't wait another minute and laughing Napoleon let him lead the way.

Not all the Thrush agents had been captured but the important ones were and taken to headquarters.

"Well tovarisch. We're both in one piece, my suit is intact and we even managed to miss no meals. I'd called this a success."

"Some of their agents escaped," Illya reminded him.

"Can we keep some positive thoughts going here? For once, let's celebrate without your pessimism."

"Just saying."

"Shut-up and eat, Illya."


	155. Regrets 3:11

They were just finishing their meal when Napoleon stiffened.

"Don't look now partner, but we have company."

Illya slid his hand into his jacket to remove his gun when Napoleon humph.

Besides the men coming from the front, more were coming in from the back with their hands in their coat pockets and a room filled of innocents.

The men walked up to the table and one said, "You can come with us without a scene, or we can open fire."

Napoleon and Illya handed over their weapons to the man's outstretched hand.

"No need for gunfire," Napoleon assured them.


	156. Regrets 4:11

"What is it you want?" Napoleon played for time calling the men's attention to himself, while Illya secretly activated his emergency signal in his tooth.

"We intend to trade you for our boss."

"UNCLE doesn't make deals. We're all expendable."

"Then they'll have two dead senior agents. Now up."

Illya reached for his wallet but stopped as the men swung toward him.

"If you do not wish a confrontation, we need to pay the bill," Kuryakin said returning his hand to the table.

"How much?" barked the leader.

"Twenty should do it; Illya wasn't as hungry as he normal is."


	157. Regrets 5:11

Throwing a twenty on the table, the speaker said pointing to the innocents around them. "Clamp your hands together in front of you, and walk toward the door. Remember if you do anything to call attention to us, their blood will be on your shoulders."

The UNCLE agents stood and were immediately surrounded by the Thrush agents. They walked out silently sending messages to each other with glances.

"Keep moving UNCLE. Get in front of me Solo. I don't want the two of you making any plans."

"Right," Illya mumbled.

"What Kuryakin?"

"You must think we are psychic." Illya answered.


	158. Regrets 6:11

Walking out of the restaurant, a car pulled up to the curve. Napoleon knew that if they entered it, they might not exit alive.

Turning he saw Illya was prepared to move and as the Russian exploded into action, Napoleon attacked the men surrounding him. He looked up in time to see one of the men near Illya aim his gun.

Knowing his partner couldn't escape the bullet himself, he shoved another man into the gunman. He hurried after the man attempting to throw off the gunman's aim but trip over a sidewalk crack.

A shot ran out, Illya fell bleeding.


	159. Regrets 7:11

Barrowing into the man before he could aim again, Napoleon twisted his body to cover his partner taking three bullets in the stomach.

Customers from the restaurant began pouring into the street as the Thrush agents dived into the car and it pulled away.

Holding his shoulder where he had been hit, Illya crawled quickly to his partner.

"Napoleon why?" Illya asked pressing the stomach wounds attempting to stop the bleeding.

"You better hold on Napoleon, or I will never forgive you." He warned.

The sounds of an ambulance caught his attention, "They're almost here, my friend. Stay with me."


	160. Regrets 8:11

Surgery took hours during which Illya prowled the waiting room. Only a direct order from Waverly made him allow medical to address his own wound.

"Mr. Kuryakin?"

The doctor headed toward Illya. "Mr. Solo is out of danger. It will be awhile before he wakes up. I've been told you'll be his bodyguard until he is transferred to your facility."

Illya nodded.

"Don't take this wrong, but you look as if you could use a bed yourself."

Glaring at the doctor he spoke, "I will care for myself, my partner, and his safety." With that he headed toward Napoleon's room.


	161. Regrets 9:11

Illya stayed by his partner's side until he woke up. Napoleon looked towards Illya then the ice chips.

"Sorry my friend. The doctor says nothing by mouth until your stomach starts to respond. A day or two. But he said I could rinse out your mouth if you promise not to suck on the swab."

Napoleon agreed and Illya ran the cold swab across his tongue.

"A greenhorn mistake. Are you okay?" Were the first worried words out of the American's mouth.

"Me? You are the one with three bullet holes. What did you think you were doing?"

"Protecting you."


	162. Regrets 10:11

"You were protecting me? You pigheaded fool. You are Number 1 Section 2, Waverly's successor and need to survive. Do not ever do that again." Illya was angry.

"You're my partner and important. I don't plan to lose you." Napoleon tried to yell back but it caused a coughing spell.

A nurse arrived with a pain hypo. "Mr. Solo you must calm down or we'll have to issue a no visitor order." She looked directly at Illya as she said it.

"I would like to see you try," Illya said seething. "We will discuss this later. Now sleep and get better."


	163. Regrets -- Epilogue (a double)

The promised conversation didn't occur while Napoleon was in the hospital and when he left without telling Illya, the Russian went looking for him.

"You are only human Napoleon," Illya repeated.

_"I tripped over a sidewalk crack. He could have killed you."_

"Your tripping into him shifted his aim and I was only grazed."

"_I'm the CEA. I shouldn't be making a greenhorn mistakes."_

"Anyone can have an accident."

"_That could have gotten you killed_." Napoleon insisted.

"And your actions could have gotten you killed." Illya shot back.

"_Well_," Napoleon said his shoulders slumping, "_You're right."_

"I am?"

...

"_I guess mistakes come with being human. Friends?"_ Napoleon said holding out his hand.

"Partners." Illya said shaking it.

The two men looked at each other. Both put the other's life before their own, and nothing could be said that would change it.

"Hungry Napoleon?"

"_Yes, you?"_

"Just had a sandwich before I came over. Should I order?"

_"Per doc, nothing spicy or rich yet."_

"Extra spicy then?"

"_Right!"_

Neither would speak of regrets. Both men knew the argument would never stop. Each would go to the extreme making sure the other would survive. After all, partners watch out for each other.


	164. Caught Red Handed 1:10

Napoleon, Illya, April, Mark, Jo Kuryakin and partner Jimmy McLaughlin sat the unofficial Section 2 part of the cafeteria talking.

"Come on Napoleon, this is supposed to be a secure organization but someone keeps waltzing in our office stealing supplies." April and the rest were complaining.

"I think you all have far too much time on your hands if you have time to complain about a missing pencil or two." Napoleon countered.

"Well I think it time we find out who is responsible," Jo said with the rest agreeing.

"Excuse me, I have _important_ work to do." Napoleon said leaving.


	165. Caught Red Handed 2:10

After Napoleon left Mark spoke up, "Okay we all think we know who is responsible. How do we catch the guilty one without getting sent to the end of the earth for our next assignment?" He asked watching the retreating CEA.

"Jo and I've been talking," April told them.

"Illya is that new experiment you have been working on ready?" Jo's asked a wicked smile on her face.

"It is working well. We also have an antidote. What do you have in mind?" he asked looking from his sister to April.

"And there is no after effects?" April asked.

"None."


	166. Caught Red Handed 3:10

Signaling for everyone to come close, they bent their heads as April explained their plan.

"Are you sure we won't get into trouble?" Jimmy asked. "As the new agent on the team, I don't want to start my career in the doghouse."

"Look gov. If we all stick together we'll be fine. Besides one for all and all for one. I for one like the idea. Illya?"

"I believe it is time we take this into our hands and teach the thief a lesson," Illya gave one of his small dangerous smiles. "And we are just the people to teach it


	167. Caught Red Handed 4:10

Illya and Mark entered the office to find Napoleon with one of Illya's pencils in his mouth.

Napoleon said, "I don't understand what all the fuss is about. It's only a pencil or some paperclips. It not as if it is a big breach of security."

"It is the principle of the thing." Mark explained.

"I borrow Illya's pencils all the time."

"That is the point. You do not borrow them; you take them without asking, putting them in your mouth. Why would I want them back?"

"Well if that's how you feel you could have said something?"

"I have."


	168. Catch Red Handed 5:10

The following morning Illya arrived early setting the trap for the pencil thief. Each of the other agents involved ensured that pencils were in their pencil holders, paperclips in containers on their desk, and even a nice pen or two sat out.

After he completed his assignment, he met the others in the cafeteria.

"Where were you partner?" Napoleon asked as Illya was usually the first to take a seat in the morning, breakfast piled high.

"I had something to do before coming down," He glanced at the other and with a small smile let them know he was successful.


	169. Caught Red Handed 6:10

After looking at the gathered agents, Napoleon's expression let it be known that he was aware that something was going on, yet said nothing about what he was thinking.

"What were you up to that was more important that breakfast?" He asked including everyone at the table.

"Just finishing up some work with an experiment. Nothing for you to worry about." Illya shoveled eggs into his mouth.

"Napoleon, I would think you are worried about something if I did not know better," Jo uttered.

"No way Napoleon would be worried." Mark defended the CEA.

"I'm not worried about anything," Napoleon said.


	170. Caught Red Handed Chapter 7:10

The thief would play their game and win.

Waiting for the meeting they were attending to take a break, the thief looked over his talking co-workers. Believing they would never figure out who was doing this, the thief feel safe.

When the meeting took the break, the thief snuck into the offices taking their pen, pencils and paperclips. These were placed on a desk before going back to the meeting smiling with success.

Later that evening at their supper table except Napoleon, the agents met and confirmed their office supplies were taken again.

"Let us catch a thief," Illya said.


	171. Caught Red Handed 8:10

Entering Napoleon's office the agents surrounded his desk.

"Perhaps you'd like to explain why all our office supplies are on your desk." Mark questioned.

"When I entered the office, they were there: I didn't take them." Napoleon denied

"Well it looks like the thief was caught red handed. Or should I say will be caught green handed." Illya once more flash the grin that made Thrush agents shake. "We place an invisible dye on the supplies. So whoever touched them, will have green palms."

"You didn't mention that before." Mark said nervously turning toward the door.

"Going someplace?" Napoleon asked.


	172. Caught Red Handed

Before Mark could move, he felt his hands grabbed and turned over. Illya flashed an ultraviolet light on his palms which turned green.

"Mark, would you like to explain that color?" April asked pointing at his hands.

"But, you made me think you suspected Napoleon." he pouted.

"We never said that." Jo informed him.

"But…."

"Why did you try to blame me for take the supplies?" Napoleon questioned.

"I figured being the boss, no one would be too upset. You see, I dated a bird in supplies before breaking it off. Now she won't fill my supply request." Mark explained.


	173. Caught Red Handed Epilogue (double)

How do I make this up to you guys?" Mark asked

The smiles he received told him that each of his friends had something in mind, but he did owe them and would take it in good humour.

Mark looked Napoleon, the man he tried to shift the blame to.

"Napoleon remember I've gotten you out of tight spots," Mark hoped Napoleon wouldn't hold a grudge or at least had a good sense of humor about it.

The spreading grin on the CEA face told him he would need to think before trying to shift the blame on Napoleon again.

….

"You're right. So after the next month of desk duty, I'm sure I can find an assignment fitting for your unique skills."

Mark knew he was in for a hard month but felt he had gotten off easy. As he turned to leave, Napoleon called him back.

"Mark, you'll need these," he said handing the agent the pencils, pens, and paperclips scattered on his desk.

"Thanks loads," Mark mumbled.

As the door was closing, he heard the office fill with laughter. Walking away, he began to smile. "Well at least I won't have to ask for supplies for a while."


	174. In a Rush

The beeping, honking and raised voices followed the car as it weaved in and out of traffic. People jumped out of the way, and drivers jammed on their brakes.

Napoleon held on with one hand and kept a watch out for anyone in their way.

Illya concentrated on the road ahead of him. No words were spoken. Then they were at their destination—Del Floria's tailor shop.

Napoleon got out of the car and headed toward the door.

"Where are you going Napoleon?"

"To medical, I have a headache. And Illya, next time we're late for work I'll do the driving."


	175. Speaker

Illya's face turned pale as he looked at his partner who was trying to swallow the laughter he could feel threatening to erupt.

"Is there a problem with the request Mr. Kuryakin? I mean you fight Thrush agents daily and don't seem to be as frightened as this?" Mr. Waverly said.

"Illya, Mr. Waverly only wants you to talk about your country." Napoleon smiled but turned serious as Illya glared at him.

"You can always decline as it's a personal favor, but it would disappoint the audience. They would love to hear about Ukraine."

"But sir, they're five-year-olds," Illya moaned.


	176. Day Off

Napoleon glanced at his partner stretched out on his couch.

"Do you plan on moving today?"

"No."

"Don't you want to do something? I mean it's our first day off in weeks."

"No."

"Can I ask why?"

"No."

"Illya I know you're not the greatest conversationalist of our time, but can you manage more than one word answers."

Leaning on one arm Illya glared at his partner. "All right, this is how far I intend to go for day. I earned the rest and intend to do just that." With that he closed his eyes and promptly went to sleep.


	177. Strangest Times

Strangest Times

Illya saw Napoleon sitting quietly in the room.

"What are you doing?" He began then saw Napoleon was petting a Shih-tzu on his lap. "Where did that come from?"

"I found him whining and needing comfort next to the victim."

Illya watched his partner. This man could kill when needed, be as hard as nail, unforgiving for those who crossed him, but also had a heart that broke at the strangest times.

"What will you do with him?"

"My friend's son has been looking for a dog." Napoleon patted the dog absent mindedly once more, a faraway look in his eyes.


	178. Strangest Times 2

"Time to leave," Illya told Napoleon who was still sitting with the puppy on his lap staring at nothing. Concerned about his partner, "What is it my friend that has you in this mood?"

"Do you think our efforts will every help it end?"

"End?"

"The killing of innocents, destruction of lives and leaving families in pieces."

"It may never end, but we will continue the fight to make it better."

Napoleon picked-up up the puppy who began to lick his face.

"It looks like you have someone who appreciates our efforts."

"One of the best thanks I ever received."


	179. Envy

Jo and April sat in the corner cafeteria booth. Both had black eyes and a broken leg. Although successful in their assignment, they did pay the price.

They overheard two secretaries in the booth behind them talking.

"I'd love to be in Section 2. Glamour, travel, and men."

"Kuryakin and Dancer think they're so special. I could do better than them any day."

"Just think we'd have Napoleon and Illya."

April and Jo approached their booth on crutches.

"Ladies, you're welcome to walk in our shoes any day." April said.

"That is if you can walk," Jo said as they hobbled away.


	180. Waking Up

Napoleon jerked awake in Jo's apartment to something in his face. Her kitten was standing on his chest purring and drooling on his checks.

"Lapis, must you," he complained while petting her head.

Turning over Jo laughed, "She is just saying good morning and I wants my breakfast."

"She's your cat, why is she waking me up?"

"She is a female. Do you need more of an answer than that? Just fed her and go back to sleep or I could think of something to do."

Napoleon quickly fed Lapis then hurried back to Jo's bed knowing he'd like her idea.


	181. Really Napoleon!

Illya stomped ahead of his partner on the dirt highway grumbling in Russian a warning to his partner to keep quiet. He was muddy from head to toe while Napoleon walked behind him without a lick of dirt on him.

"Come on Illya; it wasn't my fault. I thought he had a gun."

The grumbling stopped as Illya turned glaring at his partner. "So you just thought you would push me?"

"I was trying to save your life."

"Next time do not save me."

Heading down the road again, Illya heard, "Honesty, I didn't know the mud puddle was there."


	182. Monster (double drabble)

The bodies had been removed. The man and his daughter had been taken to a safe house. Napoleon went looking for Jo and found her in the garden staring out into the night, hand on the gun on her lap.

"Jo."

She turned tears in her eyes which she wiped quickly when she saw him coming.

"Moya lyubov you're crying?"

"Am I a monster?"

She had killed the men when they tried to kidnap the frightened child to prevent her father talking. He had called her a 'monster' for letting his daughter see death.

"You aren't. We protect innocents. Killing is sometimes part of it." He pulled her close to him, kissing her hair.

She buried herself in his chest soaking up his comfort. They sat quietly until he slowly felt her begin to relax.

"Why are we often hated?"

"Jo the world wants to be safe, but doesn't want to know how it's kept that way. We give our all, including our lives, but we're often viewed as bad as the men we fight. It won't change until the world does. Until then we have each other."

He saw a small smile and knew she'd be okay once more.


	183. Jazz

Jazz

"Must we listen to that music?" Napoleon asked. He was tired, hungry and frustrated. The assignment had gone badly and they still had to report in to Waverly.

"It relaxes me," Illya said not opening his eyes. His head ached from falling down the stairs when escaping and was trying to get rid of the pain with music.

"It gives me a headache."

"Well, it lessens mine. Besides, I am the one who hit my head while releasing you."

Napoleon risked glancing at Illya's bruised and cut face before turning the jazz back on to dull his partner's pain.


	184. No Way

Illya sat up in the medical bed, arms crossed across his chest. "Absolutely not."

"Come on partner, be reasonable."

"Reasonable! For three days I have had nothing but clear soup and lime Jell-O. I will not do it."

"I've had the same food, just a little bit."

"I have paid the price and have earned this. The answer remains no."

"But I can't get out of this bed and they won't give me one."

"Napoleon, I will not give you a bite of my hoagie."

Ignoring Napoleon's begging, Illya took a large bite a look of contentment on his face.


	185. Paying up the Bet

"Tell me again why I'm doing the wash?" Napoleon asked. Their few clothes needed to be washed.

"You lost the bet."

"You stacked the deck, knowing you'd win.

"Then why did you bet with me?"

Napoleon complained. "You convinced me to go into the bar knowing what I'd do."

"You have no self-control."

"And you took advantage of that fact."

"The clothes do need to be washed."

"Forget the lecture just give me your clothes." As he left, the woman from the bar stepped in-front of him with a full wash basket, "This might be fun after all."


	186. Rain

Waiting for their contact in the rain, Illya glanced at Napoleon.

'Wonder why he is smiling? I hate this rain. It takes me back to my childhood alone and scared when it fell dirty from the sky and stinging with ash from burning buildings. The frightening thunder bringing back memories of bombings and death.

Looking at Illya, Napoleon wondered why he was frowning? 'I love the rain. It takes me back to those lazy afternoons, runny carefree through the raindrops with friends. The clean taste when caught on my tongue. The thunder adding to our imaginary battles in faraway galaxies.'


	187. Sick

Napoleon hated being sick, struck in bed while the world went on without him.

Illya came by checking him.

"Illya I need to get out of here."

"Why?"

"I've meetings to run."

"I have rescheduled or chaired them."

"I've reports to write."

"Since when?" Illya chuckled.

"Funny. There reviewing the new members of Section Two."

"Working on it. Reports will be on your desk."

Frustrated Napoleon said, "Guess I'm not needed."

"We need you partner."

"Why you handled everything." Napoleon pouted.

Smiling Illya said, "No work is getting done. The women are in mourning without you."

"Ah I'm needed."


	188. Frustration

"Take these," Jo said trying to place pills into Napoleon and Illya's hands.

"I do not need them." They said together trying to refuse them.

"Look, you were released into my care with the understanding that I saw you took your medication. Now do it and eat your soup."

"I want real food not this stuff."

"Illya I agree. How about steak and potatoes?"

"Just take you pills, eat your soup and stop complaining."

They grinned innocently taking the pills and soup.

Jo left the room frustrated.

"What is her problem?"

"Women, can't live with them, can't live without them."


	189. Sleep

Sleep, if only he could. If only the nightmares wouldn't come as soon as he closed his eyes. They had tried to get there in time, but it didn't matter. The population of the small village had been dead before they had even started out. Thrush was once more trying to take over. Illya and he had put a stop to their plans, but too late for the village.

He glanced at his sleeping partner who was in the throws of a nightmare. He'd stay awake tonight. Tomorrow was another day maybe he could sleep then without nightmares, just maybe.


	190. Explaining it all

Expected, Illya let himself into Napoleon's apartment.

Sitting down next to his partner on the couch, Illya loaded his plate from the table full of snacks. The television was blaring the Jets vs the Giants football game. The November day was cold and the Giants were winning their first game against the Jets.

The American was yelling in support of the Jets. Already introduced to the game, Illya ask, "Aren't they both New York Teams.".

"Doesn't matter, I'm a Jet's fan."

"Why?"

Looking seriously, he said with his normal conviction, "It's my team." Explaining it all.

"I understand."


	191. The Computer

Napoleon entered Illya's apartment to find it filled of boxes and the Russian with a rare full grin on his face.

"What's this?" he asked pointing to the mess.

"Waverly asked me to test this out," his partner answered running his hands over a machine, admiration in his eyes.

"And that is?" Napoleon asked pointing to a box approx. 2w×2d×1h feet with a protruding keyboard sitting on Illya's desk.

"A prototype of a Datapoint 2200 home computer with a built-in full keyboard, 80-column monitor screen, and two cassette tapes drives each with 130 kilobytes capacity." The excitement could be heard in his voice.

"And you do what with it?"

"I am going to test it out by doing things from home for the research department."

"Wonderful, now I'll never get you out of this apartment. You do remember we had plans for tonight?"

Looking guilty, "I sorry I did not remember. I promised Mr. Waverly I would do some data tests tonight. Can we do it another night?"

He knew he could get Illya to keep his promise, but his partner's heart wouldn't be in it.

"Sure partner."

The smile on the Russian's face made up for Napoleon's disappointment.


	192. Unsuccessful Experiment

Napoleon entered the office to see Illya unwrapping a tootsie pop and empty sticks around him. After a few minutes, he curiosity got the best of him

"Not one to interfere, but what are you doing?"

"Researching this tootsie pop."

"Why?"

"I want to know."

"Okay I give. Know what?"

"The ad asks how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?"

"And you've discovered?"

"I may never know. I continuously bite it before getting there."

Picking up files, Napoleon walked out the door hearing,

"_Odin, dva , tri, chetyre, pyat'."_

_Crunch! "Proklyatie "_


	193. Jack-o-Lantern

"Napoleon, what are you doing?".

"Craving Jack-o-Lanterns"

"If you cut pumpkins up like that, the meat will be no good."

"They're decorations for April's party tonight not for eating."

"Another American custom and reason to party."

Napoleon shook his head, "You'll see how it fits into the theme. By the way, April drop off your costume."

"You didn't mention a costume before. What! It is a gladiator costume I am not wearing a skirt and collar only."

"Perhaps you would like to tell April?"

Illya shivered, "Give me the outfit, I rather not face her wrath."

Napoleon smile, "Thought so."


	194. Jack-O-Lantern 2

"Are you ready to go, tovarisch?" Napoleon asked looking over Illya in costume.

"You are not dressing before we go?"

"Well, I thought I'd wait until we arrived."

"By the way, Napoleon, what is your costume?"

He started out the door but Illya stepped in his way.

"You had me change. I think it is only fair you dress now."

Napoleon knew that he would be no use arguing with his partner, so pulled out his costume.

"Jo idea?" Illya asked.

"She wanted us to match. Can we go?" Exasperation coloring his voice.

Illya led the way roaring in laughter.


	195. Clearance Sale

Hearing their door open, Illya quickly closed his desk drawer grabbing a report before him.

Although he was quick, Napoleon saw. Knowing he would get no place asking the Russian what he was hiding, he hid his curiosity.

Napoleon crossed the room and sat on the edge of Illya's desk right over the drawer.

"Yes?" Illya eyed his partner.

"Interesting report?"

"Yes."

Napoleon suddenly pulled open the drawer finding bags of Halloween candy.

Sighing, "Oh, Illya?"

"It was on clearance. Would you like a piece of Candy?" he offered.

Smiling Napoleon accepted knowing his partner's past would always direct his actions.


	196. Picture

Dr. Drew, a hotshot who just joined UNCLE, looked down his noise at Illya and Napoleon injures.

"We should buy a full body camera so that we wouldn't have to take all these pictures to catalog Section Two's bruises."

Illya caught the look of fury in this partner's eyes.

As Napoleon got off the table, he was caught by Illya as he began to fall but not before he 'accidently' hit the doctor in the eye.

Illya grabbed the camera snapping a picture of the doctor's blacking eye.

"Sorry but luckily you'll only need one picture." Napoleon said walking away


	197. Caught Snooping

"Humph," Napoleon stood behind a half hidden partner.

"Napoleon!" Illya jumped up from under the tree.

"May I ask what you're doing under my Christmas tree?"

"I was looking for something I dropped," Illya blushed at being caught.

"I'll help you find it." Napoleon offered smiling.

"That is okay, I located it." Illya quickly explained.

"I see. It wouldn't be a present with your name on, would it?"

"You know how I feel about Christmas," Illya defended himself.

"So I can return your gift?"

"I would not want you to go to any trouble." Illya quickly answered.

"Thought so tovarisch."


End file.
